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Falling In Love is Hard on the Knees	By : sarahjean Category: Lord of the Rings Movies > General Views: 3149 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own the Lord of the Rings book series and movie series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 16
- 17
- 18
I've paid my dues
Time after time
I've done my sentence
But committed no crime
And bad mistakes
I've made a few
I've had my share of sand
Kicked in my face
But I've come through
And I need to go on and on and on and on

- Queen, We Are The Champions

Consciousness came over me, and it was most unwelcome. All I could register was that I was warm, comfortable, and light-headed � yet still sleepy. I felt better than I had done in a while � a good night�s sleep seemed to have done me a world of good.

I twisted about, burrowing deeper into my cosy bed, slapping at my pillow when it began to move.

Wait � began to move?

I raised my head, and noted one amused Elf smirking at me. I suddenly remembered that he�d offered himself up as my cuddle-bear, and I blushed slightly at the memory of me recently trying to burrow into his side.

I sat up, various strands of hair falling all over my face and generally sticking out at odd angles. Frowning slightly, I dislodged my foot from under my arse, wincing as it tingled with pins and needles. I shook my head, trying to dislodge the fog of sleep.

�I trust you are rested?� Legolas asked, cocking an eyebrow in a�well, in a cocky way.

�Yep,� I replied. I was gonna make a joke about being knocked out by his farts but I figured he wouldn�t see the humorous side like I did, so I just laughed to myself anyway, getting to my feet and looking around.

The hobbits were trying � and failing � to wake Tommy. I grinned. He was on his side with his mouth hanging open. Not very attractive�

�Tommy! I think I smell breakfast!�

He instantly sat up. �Yeah, I�m hungry. Who�s cooking dinner?� He asked groggily.

I laughed. �Mornin�, dearest. I do believe the Elves are preparing the breakfast. It is morning, after all. And we have to leave Lothlorien today.�

He raised an eyebrow, and nodded. �Well,� he said. �I�m famished. And you need to find a hairbrush.�

Lovely, huh?
--------------------
Well, I�d found a hairbrush. Actually, I�d found a whole host of she-Elves by accident, and they pretty much forced me into a very strongly fragranced bath, playing the rabid beauty queens and cleaning me and making me feminine.

I wanted to yak. I smelled like a girl.

By the time it was over, I was back in my tunic and leggings, but smelling like flowers. Great. Now I was a pansy.

Of course, Tommy called me the same thing when I joined him and the rest for breakfast. The whole Fellowship was eating together, it seemed, and they were all smiling � even Frodo had a smile on his face. I felt lighter to see that Frodo wasn�t quite as worn as I�d thought.

I ate quite a bit. I think I even out-ate Tommy, and that was amazing. Poor guy looked at me as though I�d sprouted a second head. Legolas, however, seemed pleased � he no longer had to pester me continually about wasting away. I was the same as I had been when I�d landed in Middle Earth � somewhere between average and podgy. Wasting away indeed.

I rubbed an apple on my tunic before taking a bite, listening all the while to various stories from my companions. I�d been keeping an eye on Penny and Boromir, and from what I could see, neither saw it as anything more than a roll in the hay. I was both relieved and annoyed at this. I had to stop myself from calling her a tart � harsh, I know, but it seemed wrong in my eyes. But I knew not to say anything, so I bit my tongue and forced myself to shut up.

I watched them all, as they spoke, and I suddenly felt as though I weren�t part of the group. I felt as though I were observing from a distance, watching through a clear window as these people bantered and told tales. The sound seemed to fade out as well, like when those people have freak-outs in movies and the noise goes all distorted. They all seemed innocent. And in a way, they were � they were innocent to what would happen. The Fellowship would break. Some characters would be brought back, others would fade.

I found the piece of apple in my mouth, which had tasted so good only moments ago, losing all element of flavour. I lost interest in chewing, but did so and forced myself to swallow. I rested the apple on top of one of the plates on the table, no longer hungry. Well, no one could say I�d starved myself � I�d eaten a lot more in that morning than I normally did in five days.

�Isn�t that right, Carrie?�

I came back to Middle Earth with a thud. �Huh?�

�Brutus,� Tommy replied. �I was telling them about Brutus.�

�Oh,� I said, frowning. �What about Brutus?�

�You know, how he was like a wolf and all,� Tommy urged.

I forced a smile to my face. Even after some time to heal, Brutus was still a tender subject. My German Shepherd. He�d been the best dog anyone could ever hope for � he was obedient, smart, beautiful (he was an all black German Shepherd � quite rare, I�d heard. He�d been bred from champions too), and a good companion. I�d had him for over half my life � had him �til I was fifteen.
I ran down the stairs, probably faster than healthy. I stopped to pick up Brutus�s bowl from the ground, and walked into the kitchen � passing the living room doorway without even bothering to look in.

Brutus lay on the floor, looking at me with those brown eyes that were almost human. I smiled to myself, and picked up the poodle�s bowl as well. I�d rather let the little shit starve to death, but I knew my mum would hate me if I did. So I did my little chore of feeding the dogs.

I fed the ugly little poodle, before turning to Brutus. �C�mon, mate,� I called, patting my knee. �Time to fill your greedy guts. Don�t worry; you can take a nice shit later.� I chuckled to myself.

But Brutus wouldn�t get up. He was staring at me, his breathing seeming quite fast and hard � his body seemed to shake with his breaths.

�Brutus, come on,� I said again, showing him his bowl. He was usually such a gannet when it came to food. But he wasn�t moving.

My breath caught in my throat. He was a fifteen year old dog. He was very, very old. Exactly the same age as me. And lately, he�d been deteriorating. Certainly, he�d had fits for several years and had been put on pills, but the he was getting too old. His fur was falling out in clumps (though he never looked any balder. He was descended from arctic wolves, so he had the luscious thick coat), his mind had certainly deteriorated, and his back legs were going. My dad had promised that when he lost his back legs, he�d be put down by the vet � dad had owned a shepherd dog when he was little, and he remembered how they�d had to live with the dog after his legs had gone. He didn�t want another one to be put through that.

Something told me all was not well. And in that moment, I seemed to flash back on Brutus standing over me, growling and protecting me from a boy who�d lived next door, who�d set out to do me harm. He�d protected me for so long, made me feel as though it were safe to sleep at night.

�Please get up,� I whispered.

He stared at me with sad brown eyes. I sank to my knees, burying my fingers in his musty, smelly fur, stroking him gently. �Please get up, Brutus. Try.�

He did try. He fumbled, with his claws scraping at the linoleum. But to no avail. He whined slightly, and I felt a sudden sinking feeling in my stomach. �Damn it,� I whispered. �Does fifteen years mean nothing?!�

But then, of course fifteen years meant something. It meant he was very, very old.

I rose to my feet, staring at the dog that lay at my feet. A companion from my childhood, and a protector from those confused times to the present. The smart, loving dog that�d been with me since the beginning.

I left the kitchen, and turned to finally look into the living room. Dad was doing the monthly sums, with mum smoking a cigarette and chiming in with the odd comment when she wasn�t watching her soaps on TV.

�Dad,� I said. �Brutus won�t get up.�

Dad gave me a look, before he sighed and got up. He must have known that something was wrong with the poor old dog, because his face was grave. I went back to the kitchen and leant against the freezer, as my parents started to try coaxing Brutus up, talking to him and comforting him. They offered him his food bowl, and he barely ate two doggy mouthfuls. He took a bit of the water offered, but he didn�t look any healthier. And he still didn�t get up.

As dad studied him, and he spoke, I knew already that it wasn�t good. To try and hide the threatening tears, I turned on my heel and went up the stairs. Pausing at the top, I slowly walked over to the door with the sticker on it that said �kiss my puntang�, and knocked.

Jack opened the door, and grinned. �Hey, Carrie, guess what? I downloaded the first Guns N� Roses Use Your Illusion album!�

�That�s�that�s great,� I said, swallowing. �Look, Jack�it�s Brutus�� my voice seemed to crack and wobble from there. �He won�t get up�I d-don�t think he has very l-long left��

The look on Jack�s face said it all. Cheerful turned to surprise, then to grim dissatisfaction. Slowly, he nodded and moved past me, going down the stairs. I stepped into my bedroom, looking around. I wasn�t really all that sure what to do with myself. Part of me thought that we could save Brutus. But the other part of me knew that he was too old. Too ill.

I sat in my computer chair, and stared at the black monitor screen. I cried a little � but only a little. The lump in my throat seemed too big for tears to leak past it. If that made sense. He was going to be put down. I could feel it in my bones, I could feel it in the vibes that rose up around the house. My fifteen years of safe protection and blissful ignorance was coming to an abrupt and almost rude ending.
�Wow, you�re really out of it today.�

I blinked at Tommy, not even realising I�d zoned out. Everyone else was staring at me as well, so I cleared my throat and said, �Sorry. Brutus was�the best I could hope for.� And he had been. Turned out, he�d excelled the normal lifespan of a German Shepherd by 2 years � and not just that, but he�d done it with near blindness, awful hearing and an abdominal tumour. It was as though he�d thought, �no, they�re my family and I�m not leaving them, godammit!�

I tried not to blush under the gazes of the Fellowship (especially Legolas, who�s eyes seemed to have x-ray vision), and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand, before standing. �Shouldn�t we be moving?� I asked. �Didn�t Lady Galadriel want to see us before we left?�

The others nodded, all rising. There were various conversations and banters along the way, but I remained silent. I was thinking carefully. Since Brutus had been put down, I�d suddenly become more aware. As though I�d been squinting to read a small print novel, then someone handed me a larger print book. Brutus had let me believe that I was safe, I was invincible and I needn�t do anything. But after he�d died, I suddenly felt as though my fences had been knocked down, and that I was out in the open. I stopped sleeping easily at night, and I suddenly became more aware even when I was out. Whereas the slight footfalls of someone behind me might have annoyed me but not bothered me into paranoia before, they most certainly did now. It was as though I�d suddenly realised, on all fronts, that I�d had my head stuck up my arse, unable to see anything clearly. And now, I realised that I wasn�t invincible � I�d always been open for attacks, and the reason I hadn�t been paranoid beforehand was all down to Brutus, whether he�d actually been present or not.

With him had gone a lot of memories and a lot of secure feelings. The poodle had been left behind, but he was about as useful as a sack of shit.

�Shite,� Tommy mumbled. �I just left that bloody place and I�m hungry already.�

I snorted, and ran my fingers awkwardly through my hair. I suppose it could have been said that I was a little vain when it came to my hair. I received so many compliments for it that I tended to get a little egotistical where it was concerned. When I was a kid, I paid very little attention to it � my mum had to force me to wash it and brush it. But as I grew older, I began to brush it more and more, and I�d do it myself. I�d wash it properly, and I�d realise how incredibly nice washed hair was. I revelled in it.

That was one of the reasons I was going nuts in Middle Earth. There seemed to be a shortage of hairbrushes. I had become what might have been considered by some as an obsessive compulsive when it came to my hair � I�d brush my hair, do something for about fifteen minutes, before I�d start brushing it all over again.

Right now, I was very worried over its state. I kept staring at it, or twisting it around my fist, or flicking it, or just plain running my fingers through it in a poor impersonation of a brush or a comb.

The riverside where we were to say goodbye to the Galadhrim was quite pretty. I, normally being one for drawing people only, was pleasantly surprised when I felt a twinge in my gut that told me I wanted to draw this beautiful scene. Maybe add a few Elves into the picture. Maybe Legolas�

Shut up, you stupid slapper, I snapped at myself mentally. He�s your friend � a mutual mate who shares your feelings and experiences. Stop thinking about him like he�s a piece of meat.

With this thought, I slumped onto the riverbank, sitting cross-legged and barely acknowledging Penny as she sat next to me.

�I, uh,� she started, but she didn�t need to say anything. I knew she was worried about the Amon Hen thing � she had no experience as a fighter whatsoever. She�d be useless and a wide-open target.

�I know,� I said. �Don�t worry about it. We�ll jump off that bridge when we get there.� She frowned, but shut up. I hugged my knees to my chin, and stared at the bright, sunlit sky.

What is wrong with me? I wondered. I feel as though I�m not me � as though I�m observing everything from out of this body.

You should be happy, another voice commented. You�ve saved yourself the same emotional hassle you had with your parents about your self harm. Legolas didn�t mind. He even let you use him as a pillow last night.

That was nice, voice #1 said.

Course it was, voice #2 replied. You fancy his leggings off.

But I�m mortal, I suddenly thought. This instantly made me frown. Why was I in this continual circle, where I knew that Legolas was way, way out of my league, but I still lusted for him? I was kidding myself � being stupid and acting like a lovesick puppy.

Prat, I scolded myself.

When Galadriel appeared, we all stood respectively. I bit the inside of my mouth, tearing the skin away as I was prone to do when I wasn�t sure what else to do. As I stared at Galadriel�s fair face, I had a sudden flashback of her saying, �Just as I remember�, with tears in her eyes. Looking at me. D�nramiel again, no doubt. I clenched my jaw and waited for it all to end so that we could leave.

The thought of D�nramiel tormented me � more than I�d ever admit out loud. Not only did it make me paranoid of Legolas�s intentions, but it also set me on edge � it was like when someone said, �Don�t stroke that dog, you don�t know where it�s been�. I suddenly felt the same way about my soul. It had been someone else�s before it had ever been mine, and that made me feel a maelstrom of emotions � anger, surprise, sadness, even comfort in some places. But stronger was the paranoia � if Legolas would look at me, I�d wonder who he really saw. Carrie or D�nramiel?

�Carolina.�

I glanced up. It was then that I noticed that Galadriel was looking at me quite pointedly. She had already given the others their gifts, including Frodo�s Light of Earendil. Even my siblings had gifts � Tommy had a flask of something, and Penny was holding what looked like one of those snowy orbs.

With a small frown, I stepped forward.

Galadriel looked upon me with keen, knowing eyes. She said, �Farewell, Carolina.� She held up her hand, and dangling from it was a necklace. It was an odd thing � a deep blood-red stone that had what looked like an ivory claw holding it. She gently placed it around my neck, and said, �For when the future is unrecognisable.�

I raised my eyebrow at her mysterious words, but said nonetheless, �Thank you.�

It seemed that in no time at all, we were setting out in the boats. Aragorn, Frodo and Sam in one boat, Boromir, and the other two hobbits in another, Gimli, Legolas and Penny in another boat, and Tommy and I in the last one. As the boats set off, I glanced over at the shore, as Galadriel slowly raised her hand and waved. I was wondering whether to wave back, but my hand was weighed down somehow. I couldn�t wave even if I wanted to.

I realised that I was scared. Soon, once of the bigger battles of this tale was rapidly approaching � and there was a very big chance I wouldn�t survive. That my siblings might not survive. I glanced at Penny, who was staring at the water tentatively. Then I glanced at Tommy, who was rowing steadily and strongly, fuelled by his kayaking experience. I�d seen him kayak at Yalding � he was very good at it. Of course, he�d had some bad moments � one being when he got stuck capsized, and had a very close brush with death. Very close. Luckily, a mate pulled him up.

When I�d heard about that, I�d laughed. Some might say that was very obnoxious of me. The truth was, I�d been scared out of my knickers. When I was scared or nervous, my first reaction would be to laugh (as my maniacal episode with Legolas had proven). I never quite understood why � the closest I�d come to guessing was that I thought that if I laughed at it, undermined it, it would go away.

And Tommy had lived. He�d instantly began practising his Eskimo rolls so that he wouldn�t repeat the accident. He�d never set foot in those particular parts again, either. He�d been too scared.

Yalding. Hmmm. If I remembered rightly, that was where a girl had pointed to back of my leg and said, �What�s that?� Thus notifying me on an old SH scar I hadn�t realised I�d had. I was mortified.

The waters were relaxing. I couldn�t swim, but surprisingly enough, I�d never actually been afraid of water. Tommy had once owned a 32ft boat, and had taken me and dad out to open sea. It had been amazing. And I proved them both wrong and didn�t get seasick once. I�d even steered the boat � though, when Tommy went to take over and I stood up from the seat, we hit a rough wave and I went flying, bouncing off the iron steps and knocking dad into the galley.

Somewhere along the way, my mind tuned out completely. I could barely make out any thoughts at all, apart from that I was dreading what would soon happen. I was so caught up in my own mind, that I barely noticed the thwap round the head, but I blinked and glanced around. Tommy was grinning.

�Finally, it decides to come to life. Fuck, sis, I�ve been calling you for god knows how long.�

�Why?� I frowned, rubbing the back of my head.

He tossed a package at me. �Legolas says to eat this, or he�ll shove an arrow up your arse.�

I raised an eyebrow.

�Well,� Tommy amended. �Not his exact words, of course��

I stared at the Lembas and frowned again. I wasn�t sure what was bugging me more � the idea that Legolas was playing the mother hen (freaky as that sounded) or the reminder of my insecurities that I wasn�t Carrie. That all he saw was D�nramiel, Elven princess, his wife, etc.

I shook my head, before breaking the Lembas in half. I handed half to Tommy, and the gannet instantly crammed some into his mouth, apparently hungry. �Mrrrnkkkk oooo.�

�You�re welcome,� I replied, eating mine much more daintily.
--------------------
Somewhere along the line, Tommy must have caught my Robbie Williams fever. Well, aside from the fact that Kimberly herself loved Robbie to pieces. He was singing Let Love Be Your Energy as he rowed, and the lyrics of the song made my roll my eyes back into my head.

�I think Supreme is better,� I commented. �The lyrics suit the mood much more appropriately.�

�I�m guessing you�re in one of those dark, disturbing moods where you give too much morbid information,� Tommy said, smirking.

�Maybe I just don�t believe in that kind of love,� I shot back.

He raised an eyebrow. �How odd, to hear one so young so discouraged.�

I blinked, confused. �I�ve been harping on about how love is a load of bollocks for years.�

He snorted. �That you have, now that I think of it. I just didn�t think you meant it.�

I shook my head, and glanced around. Everyone in the boats seemed placid, as they silently continued the journey towards the Shit + Fan = Amon Hen equation.

Legolas seemed distracted. I soon realised why. Straining my hearing, I could hear Penny. Flirting.

That hussy, my mind thought. What the fuck does she think she�s doing? Is she trying to bed the whole bloody Fellowship?!

She was curling her hair around her finger, flirting quite outrageously with the poor Elf. And aside from this little shock, the next one hit me in the stomach � he didn�t seem to be doing much to stop her. He just listened to her and replied to her comments in a low voice, too low for me to distinguish what he was saying. Gimli was rolling his eyes, and I might have grinned, had I not been so annoyed.

What is this? Voice #1 asked. Are you jealous?

No way! Voice #2 argued. But look at her! She�s acting like a prime harlot!

But that�s not what�s bothering you, voice #1 sneered. What�s bothering you is that he isn�t fighting it.

I know better than to have delusions about an Elf, voice #2 snapped. It has something to do with the whole mortal/immortal thing.

But that doesn�t matter, deep down, voice #1 replied. And besides, he said it himself. You�re D�nramiel.

�Fuck!� I snapped aloud, drawing the attention of Tommy. I glared at my hands. It always brought me back to Halda�Ithil. Always. I realised then that I was jealous of my own soul.

That thought made me laugh, and Tommy gave me an officially scared look. I bit my lip to bite down the laughter, and eventually, I was sitting there, just staring at the gentle waves of the river and listening to Tommy sing.

�I knew a man Bojangles
And he'd dance for you
In worn out shoes

With silver hair a ragged shirt
And baggy pants
He would do the old soft shoe

He would jump so high
Jump so high
Then he lightly touch down��

I sighed. �You missing Reiss?�

He fixed a gaze on me. �How�d you guess?�

�The song was a dead giveaway,� I replied with a smile. �Reiss loves Mr Bojangles.�

�You do pay attention, then,� he said, smiling slightly.

�Of course I do,� I snorted. �I also know he likes Road To Mandalay.� Then I sang quickly,

�Everything I touched was golden
Everything I loved got broken
On the Road to Mandalay
Every mistake I�ve ever made
Has been rehashed and then replayed
As I got lost along the way��

He laughed, and shook his head.

�What do you suppose Jack�s doing now?� I asked suddenly, my mind focusing on the mental image of my brother, the image from when he let a tear slide down his cheek fresh in my mind.

�I don�t know,� Tommy confessed. �But let�s just hope that he�s making better decisions now.�

�He probably is,� I replied, nodding my head. �He�d dug himself into a hole and didn�t think he could get out. He just needed a boost-up.�

A slow pain began to grow in my forehead. By now, I�d begun to think of it as a portent for when evil was near. My theory seemed to be proven when Legolas and Aragorn glanced at the woodlands at the side of the river. Uruk-Hai.

Not long after, we �pulled over� as it were, coming to rest on a shore. I felt that familiar dread as mine and Tommy�s boat hit the shore. Bollocks, I thought. This is moving too fast to be a comfort.

I went to get out, frowning at the still whirring thoughts in my tired brain. I just wanted to scoop them all out and stamp on them � or at least, just put them all on pause. But that wasn�t possible � my mind always seemed to like doing things the hard way, whether it be math or otherwise. Geez, math. I�d never taken that seriously. One time, when someone had been talking to me about shapes at school, I�d pointed to one and accidentally said, �What about this shite?� Heh heh, that had been good.

I managed to get one leg on land, but as I moved to get the other, I tripped, stumbling forward. I was caught though � someone grabbed me before I made a complete pillock out of myself.

�Bugger,� I growled. I glanced up, and instantly felt my insides melt, before going into a frenzy. �Um, thanks,� I said, raising an eyebrow and stepping back.

�Lle creoso,� Legolas replied.

�I�ll take it that means �you�re welcome�,� I said. He nodded.

The feelings in my stomach were very unpleasant. I was both going all mushy and girlish at the sight of him, but at the same time, a kind of icy feeling was caught up in my gut, one that told me that I was playing second fiddle. One that told me I was only smiled at because my soul had once been that of his wife. And those feelings felt like cold water in my face.

Aragorn cleared his throat. �Well,� he said. �We cross the lake at nightfall, hide the boats, and continue on foot. We approach Mordor from the north.�

�Oh, yes?� Gimli piped up, already sitting � Penny and the hobbits sitting nearby, as Legolas moved to stand near Aragorn. �Just a simple matter of finding our way through Emyn Muil? An impassable labyrinth of razor-sharp rocks? And after that, it gets even better! Festering, stinking marshlands, as far as the eye can see!�

�That is our road. I suggest you take some rest and recover your strength, Master Dwarf,� Aragorn replied.

�Recover my... phfwahh...�

I suddenly remembered about Boromir�s little attempt at stealing the Ring. Somewhere inside my mind, a voice yelled, �You can stop it! Move your legs, wench!�

So, with a discretion that surprised even me, I set off in the general direction of where I figured they�d gone. As I walked, I bit the inside of my mouth, my nervousness flooding over me. How did I expect to stop Boromir? I couldn�t just walk up to him, tap him on the shoulder and tell him to fuck off. No, that didn�t seem to be a very good idea in my mind. I was suddenly wishing I�d brought Tommy with me, but I realised I couldn�t back out now.

I reached into my pouch and extracted the pocket knife, pulling the blade out and staring at it. I�d used this to sharpen pencils, peel apples, slice erasers in half, sever cellotape, and slice my own skin � but this would have been the first time I�d ever threatened someone with the small but impressive blade. Worrying images flitted through my mind of me holding the blade to Boromir�s throat. They made me feel very, very unsettled. I�d only ever threatened people with words and my limbs before. Blades were dangerous, as I knew. And threatening someone with them was no game.

I heard voices up ahead, and I knew I�d found them. Taking a deep breath, I stepped forward to intervene, when pain overtook me, crippling me. I dropped the knife, tensing as I fell to my knees. The pain was spreading across my forehead in sharp waves, travelling down my jaw and shooting across my chest, where it swelled behind my ribs like a demon battling to break through my ribs.

And through mind, images flashed unbidden. Pain, torture�I felt my breathing speed up, as I saw people I knew from the college slain by orcs as they broke through anomalies into my world. I saw my own house burned down, our neighbours murdered in their beds, and�

I gave a silent scream as I saw my own family slaughtered like animals. I saw our entire street ablaze, with fire licking at the blood-red sky, with the growls and menacing laughter of the orcs and the Uruk-Hai.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no�

I was suddenly attacked by the image of Sauron�s Eye. It was blazing, looking at me � looking right through me and seeing the very fibre of my being. I growled to myself, and flung myself backwards. I wasn�t sure how I did it, but I did � and it seemed to break the trance. I landed on my back, my head hitting the soft ground, my hands instinctively curling into fists. I gasped for breath, feeling the last twinges of pain receding. It won�t happen, I told myself. They can�t do that. They won�t do that.

I forced myself to sit up, shaking my head dazedly. I gave a frustrated cry, and leapt forward, grabbing my knife. With it in hand, I stumbled to my feet, running the last couple of paces until I came to the clearing. Boromir was sitting with his head in his hands. I was too late.

He glanced up at me, and his eyes were filled with tears. I wasn�t going to blame him for this, because I knew that it wasn�t his fault. His desire and greed (which was a common trait for humans) had been seduced. He hadn�t been himself.

I gave him a blank look.

�I�I tried to take the Ring,� he said, his voice clogged with tears.

I offered him my hand. He stared at it for a moment, before allowing himself to be pulled up. �It doesn�t matter,� I replied. �Be ready, Boromir. A battle commences.�

He gave me a confused look, and whatever he was about to say was cut short, when grunts, cries, and heavy footfalls met our ears. He gave me a startled glance, and as quickly as I could with my shaking hands, I folded the pocket knife, put it away, and drew my sword. He too drew his sword, looking surprised, but ready. It was in that moment, when I noticed the almost boyish look in his eyes, that I knew I had to save him. From what I could tell, it wouldn�t change anything � Faramir would still, by rights, find Frodo and Sam. And Denethor would still be a mad old fart.

We ran together, looking for Merry and Pippin � their cries could be heard, distracting the Uruk-Hai � most likely to deter them so that Frodo could escape. When we found them, they were surrounded by UHs, and one was preparing to swing an axe�

Boromir instantly jumped into the fray, staying the axe. He was swinging into the battle, fuelled by his need to atone for his mistakes. I was inspired just by watching him, and I too ran into the fray. I swung my blade at an unsuspecting UH, slicing him from groin to chest. I spun into a roundhouse kick at another one, but he only stumbled back a touch. These bastards were strong. But I was strong too. Strong in the way that I was fuelled by the adrenaline of battle, the promise of new chances, the hope. I was swinging wildly, my blade clashing with theirs as I feinted, thrust, sliced and diced, kicked and even hit. My heart was pounding, filling my ears with its rapid booming. My senses seemed to switch between heightened and degenerated. I was fighting like a madwoman, my overheated senses barely picking out the sound of the Horn of Gondor from the grunts and squeals around me.

I ran at a UH, swinging my sword, and found it blocked by his. I spun, swinging the blade again, but was yet again blocked. So I feinted a thrust upwards, and as the ugly fucker moved to meet it, I swung a kick. It sent the sword sailing from the beast�s hand, and I caught the blade almost expertly, running the UH through with his own sword.

That was when I spotted the UH that was preparing its bow. This was the one to shoot Boromir. My chance was nigh. I looked around frantically, and spotted a Uruk shield. As quickly as I could, I wrested it from the dead thing�s grasp. �Boromir!� I flung the shield to him. He caught it, looking at it in amazement. He then noticed the UH, just about to let its arrow fly. He swung the shield, and blocked the first arrow.

I quickly began my fast fighting again, trying not to be distracted by Boromir�s possible demise. I stabbed and I beat and I evaded, coming closer to Boromir by the moment. Boromir, in his own bid to stay alive, neglected the hobbits momentarily, but it was enough. They tried to fight, but the UHs took them. I was about to run after the Uruk-Hai, when two things occurred to me. The first was that I was a mere mortal woman, and that I could never take on all of them alone. And the second was that Boromir, in his momentary shock at seeing the hobbits captured, had let his shield fall slightly. And the UH was aiming an arrow directly at his heart.

I ran forward instantly. The hobbits, I knew, would live. They�d end up in Fangorn. But Boromir�he could die. In the book, he did die. This was all that ran through my head as I darted forward, and stepped in front of him, facing him.

And then the pain. I stared down, half relieved that I�d accomplished what I�d intended, and half afraid for my life. I could see the tip of the arrow sticking through my shoulder, already soaking my tunic with blood. I stumbled forward slightly, and Boromir gripped my by the shoulders, holding me up.

�Carrie!� He gasped.

The UH had been temporarily disabled by surprise, and this deterred it just long enough for Aragorn to appear and begin to wage a battle with the filthy shit. I remained, gripped in Boromir�s hold, as he wrapped an arm around my waist, supporting me. I was stunned. I�d done what I�d wanted to do, but the pain was more than I�d expected � kind of like in Moria, with the spike. I could feel a slight nausea, a dizzy feeling that made my eyelids feel heavy and my heart even heavier.

I barely acknowledged when Aragorn came over, breathing heavily from his battle, and said, �It�s over. For now.� He gripped my shoulders. �Carrie,� he said.

I glanced into his blue eyes, trying to focus but losing myself every now and then because of the pain. I was barely aware when he sat me on the ground, propped up against Boromir, and opened my tunic up slightly, pulled it to the side to inspect the wound.

�They took the little ones,� Boromir said breathlessly. Then he blinked. �Frodo? Where is Frodo?�

�I let Frodo go,� Aragorn replied, studying my wound. I was hanging on to the conversation, forcing myself to absorb it as the pain licked at me and made me flinch.

�Then you did what I could not,� Boromir said sadly, still propping me up. �I tried to take the Ring from him.�

�The Ring is beyond our reach now,� Aragorn said.

�Forgive me. I did not see it. I have failed you all,� Boromir said, hanging his head.

�On the contrary,� I piped up, my voice hoarse. �You�d be surprised at what good you�ve done.� Well, in a way, it was true. I may not have read the final book, but I knew enough to know how it would all end. Things would be okay.

I felt him take my hand and squeeze it. �You risked your life for me,� he said, sounding disbelieving.

�Is it honestly so hard to believe?� I said, with a painful snort of derision. �Or are you just undermined because you were saved by a woman?� I tried to laugh, but it hurt a little too much.

�Thank you,� Boromir said quietly.

I smiled. �Lle creoso. You�re welcome.� I noted that Aragorn gave me an odd look when I spoke the Elvish, and I almost felt satisfaction that I could stir the Ranger.

�Carrie!�

I felt a burst of relief when Tommy landed on his knees beside Aragorn, staring in horror at the arrow protruding from my shoulder. �Oh god,� he groaned.

�Do not worry yourself, friend,� Aragorn said. �The arrow has missed her vital organs. All it needs is a dressing and no strain.�

�You have a fine sister, Tommy,� Boromir commented.

�Awww, shucks,� I said, grinning.

Before I knew it, there was a flash of colour, and Legolas was kneeling on the other side of Aragorn, staring at the arrow with concern. Behind him, I could see Penny standing with Gimli, her eyes wide.

�Help me,� Aragorn ordered Boromir, then said to me, �Stay still.� Boromir gripped my shoulders sturdily, and Aragorn quickly removed the arrow from my shoulder. I, of course, yelled. But not the common scream. Instead, I yelled out a long stream of swearwords without taking breath. It sounded something like �fuckbollocksshitbloodyhellfuckshitebastardfuckingcunt�. Tommy, concerned as he was, was rolling around on the floor, laughing his arse off. Legolas instantly began tending to my wounds, removing his seemingly endless stock of rags and wiping at my wounds. I was trying not to flinch, biting my lip instead, as Tommy gripped my hand. Boromir was filling everyone in on what happened.

�I always thought that sisters were good slaves, not shields,� Tommy joked, squeezing my hand. I mock-glared at him.

�Oh, of course, because you always need shielding from arrows or bullets.�

I flinched again, glancing at Legolas as rubbed at the wound.

�Here,� Tommy said, and handed Legolas the flask Galadriel had given him. �That�s alcohol,� he said. �Should help disinfect the wound.�

�Diola lle,� Legolas nodded. I notched that up mentally as �thank you�. I highly doubted it was �fuck off�.

Of course, the alcohol made me scream again. �Fuck, that hurts,� I cried. But somewhere in my mind, I realised that my tunic was hanging half open, revealing the flimsy undershirt and a large portion of pale skin. I glanced at Legolas sidelong, as though to check to see if he was perving, but he seemed to be being professional enough, as he handed Tommy his flask back and continued to act as nurse.

�What to do?� Aragorn mumbled.

I cleared my throat. �If I may?� Aragorn glanced at me, then nodded. �Frodo and Sam will already be across the river by now. They�re on they�re no longer in our control.�

�Then it has all been in vain,� Gimli barked. �The Fellowship has failed.�

�I think not,� I replied, raising an eyebrow, as Legolas began to strap up my shoulder (and removed one side of my tunic to do so, I might add). �Frodo and Sam may be out of our reach now. But Merry and Pippin need saving. Why leave them to torment and death?�

�She is right,� Aragorn nodded. �We rest first, nourish ourselves. Then we travel light, and hunt some orc.�

He stood, and Boromir went with him, leaving me propped against a tree as Legolas continued to treat my wound. Tommy stood to speak to Penny as Gimli joined Aragorn and Boromir. I was left alone with Legolas.

I took the time as he sorted me out to just study him. He would be every portrait artist�s dream � full of curves and angles. And he was frowning in concentration as he wound a long piece of material around my shoulder.

�You have a knack for getting injured, melamin,� he said quietly.

�What can I say?� I shrugged. �It�s a talent.�

He paused, then removed something from inside my shirt. I stared down, stunned, and noticed my necklace. Not Galadriel�s necklace, but my other necklace � I�d become so used to wearing it, I�d completely forgotten it was there.

�What is this?� Legolas asked, studying it curiously.

�It�s called tiger eye,� I replied. �It�s a stone that looks very similar to the colour of the eyes of a particular type of wildcat.� And tiger eye was indeed beautiful. It seemed almost holographic, with its golden colours shifting about to make new patterns. I had a chunk of it inside a small cage around my neck. �I believe that it brings me luck,� I continued. �And that it protects me. This necklace is actually amazingly important to me.�

And it was. I lost it once, accidentally, and in the week that it was gone, I was practically pulling my hair out. But weirder still � when I found it, it was in pain sight in a place where I�d already looked. Ever since then, I made sure it never left my neck.

�It is beautiful,� he smiled, and knotted off the bandage. �Try not to put too much stress on the wound,� he said, standing and offering me a hand. He pulled me up, and I instantly shrugged back into my tunic, lacing it up.

�Thank you,� I said. He nodded, smiling, and left to join the men. As he did, Penny latched onto his arm, making a frown cross my face involuntarily. With a slight grunt, I sat on a log, putting my hands in my lap and gnawing away at my lip, trying to ignore the pain in my shoulder.

Tommy sat next to me with a sigh. �As honourable as your intention was, I wish you hadn�t put yourself in danger like that, sis,� he said.

�I wasn�t really thinking,� I confessed. �I just realised that I wanted Boromir to live, and did the first thing I could think of.�

He stared at the blade he clasped in his hands, turning it so that it caught the light. �That battle was actually more threatening than I thought it would be,� he admitted.

I nodded. �I think I have good potential as a martial artist, from what I�ve been doing.� I smirked, then said seriously, �I really thought I�d fucked everything up for a moment there.�

�You very nearly did,� he replied. �Without you, none of us would know what to do.�

I gave a small smile. �I�m that important, huh? I just�I felt the pain, and I thought that that was it. I�d expired. I thought I was drawing my last breaths.�

�I know the feeling,� Tommy replied. �In Yalding�in that kayak�I thought I was a-goner for sure, Carrie. My head was hitting the bottom, it seemed to shallow to roll, and I wasn�t that good at rolling anyhow�I was on my last breaths. If Lee hadn�t pulled me up at that moment��

I glanced at him. �I guess we�ve both given each other heart attacks then.�

He nodded, then said, �Don�t do it again, sis. Don�t get yourself killed.�

�I�ll try not to,� I replied, smiling softly.

I stood, and slowly walked over to where the boats were, my arms folded. I stared out across the river, wondering exactly how much had changed. Had changed in Middle Earth, and had changed in my mind. Because no one remained unaffected by an arrow stuck in their shoulder.

I felt less invincible. Yet again, I�d let myself get carried away. I�d almost felt as though nothing could harm me. Then I�d received an arrow in the shoulder, and god, the pain�

It really put things in perspective.

�Your brother is right. It would be a grievance if you were to be fatally wounded.�

I glanced at Legolas, and fought the urge to ask, why? Is it because I�m D�nramiel? But I realised I was being foolish. I felt bad for feeling so damn jealous of my past self. Yes, jealous. I openly admitted that to myself. I was jealous because my past self could have � and did have � what I wanted.

I nodded. �Yeah,� I said. �After all, I�m the only one who fully knows what lies ahead, right?�

He stared at me for a long moment, his face blank, and I almost felt as though that scrutinising stare was ripping the flesh and muscles of my bones, looking right down into me. It made me feel very uncomfortable. �You mistake your value here, melamin,� he replied, raising some of my hair in his fingers and letting it slowly fall strand-by-strand back over my shoulder, before he turned and went back to the others, leaving me to stare across the river, until Boromir alerted me that we were ready to set after Merry and Pippin, and begin our journey into the real-life version of a book called The Two Towers.
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Falling In Love is Hard on the Knees