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Falling In Love is Hard on the Knees	By : sarahjean Category: Lord of the Rings Movies > General Views: 3149 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own the Lord of the Rings book series and movie series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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With the prophecies you spoke

I kept up with the message inside

Lost sight of the irony

Of twisted faith

Lost sight of my soul and its void

Think I�m; Think I'm unforgiven to this world

Think I�m; Think I'm unforgiven to this world

Took a chance at deceiving myself

To share in the consequence of lies

Childish with my

Reasoning pride

Godless to the extent that I died

Think I�m; Think I'm unforgiven to this world

Think I�m; Think I'm unforgiven to this world

Think I'm unforgiven

- Creed, Unforgiven

I�d always cursed the fact that my face was overly expressive. I could try not to grin at someone, but I�d fail miserably. I could only properly lie if I felt that it was a very serious matter and definitely called for it.

I was looking at Gandalf deadpanned.

But not because I had a masterful control over my expression. No, it was because for a moment, I truly had no idea what he was talking about. My mind wasn�t fully on him � I was still feeling Legolas�s touch, still hearing him say those words in Spanish�and Elvish�

Eventually, it dawned on me what the wizard had said, and my eyebrows shot up. �Oh?�

The reason I was in Middle Earth. Gandalf knew at long last. What I�d wanted for so long was finally at my fingertips�but did I want it now? I�d discovered love � something I�d lost faith in too long ago. If I were to go home�I�d probably have to leave Legolas behind. I wasn�t sure I could do that. �A-and,� I said, taking a breath to stop my stuttering, �It�s because�I�m here to change things�right?�

Gandalf studied me quietly for a moment, puffing on his pipe. This scene was actually echoing strong d�j� vu in my mind � I felt as if I�d done something very similar to this before � sitting opposite Gandalf, with a roaring fire to my right, the glow flickering over the room and bathing everything in a warm light.

The calm before the storm, a voice in my head whispered. I blinked.

�I must first ask you on your decision to save Boromir,� Gandalf said. �For I also know how he should not have come so far as to see Fangorn forest, let alone Meduseld.�

I frowned, and started picking the skin off my lips. Was Gandalf annoyed at my decisions? �I didn�t see any harm in letting him live.�

�Indeed,� Gandalf nodded. �I am pleased that you have kept the necessary precautions, nonetheless. For example, the little scene in Moria.� I nodded, saying nothing. I could think of nothing to say.

�I have also noticed that two of the Fellowship�s original members are no longer with us,� he continued. I proceeded to tell him about my siblings� departures, biting anything that I could bite � my lips, the inside of my cheeks, my nails. By the time I was finished, I�d moved on to biting the skin around my nails, near enough cannibalising myself.

�I see,� Gandalf said thoughtfully. �And have you any ideas as to why they left?�

I shrugged. �I�m as clueless as they come.�

He fixed his gaze on me. �I would have thought you would have made the connections by now. Have you contemplated this at all?�

�Not really,� I confessed. I paused. �So there�s a connection?� At his nod, I hunted back in my mind. What had happened when both of them had left? I�d ignored looking back like this in case I grew to miss Penny or Jack. But now, there was supposedly a connection to their world-hopping. �I argued with both of them. Then we sorted through our differences, and they left.�

I glanced at Gandalf, and saw him nodding, urging me on. I raised an eyebrow. �Are you insinuating that they left because we sorted out or problems?�

�That is precisely what I am insinuating, my dear,� Gandalf replied.

I shook my head. �How is that possible? I mean, surely we weren�t brought here just for that.�

�You weren�t brought here simply for that,� Gandalf replied, �But they were.�

I gave him a confused look, and was about to open my mouth to ask more questions, but he suddenly said, �I see that you finally know of Legolas�s feelings.�

My partly open mouth slammed shut, before I stuttered out, �W-well, yeah, but by complete accident, you know�we didn�t, I-I mean, we��

�Do not worry yourself,� Gandalf said, smiling warmly. �You do not see him worrying, do you?�

�He�s very good at hiding himself,� I replied, brushing my side-fringe away from my face.

�Or perhaps you have been blind to his feelings? Do not take this as offence, for I only mean that perhaps you did not see it, because you did not believe it could happen.�

�Maybe,� I replied, rubbing the back of my neck. �But�I�m mortal. And he�s heir to the throne of Mirkwood. I�d be ruining things for him if we were to remain together.�

�Unless, of course, he feels differently. Carolina, Legolas has never been thrilled over his place as heir to the throne of Mirkwood,� Gandalf sighed. �Especially since he knows that Thranduil would prefer Corenian to take the throne.� He stared me dead in the eye. �And all that besides�Legolas was always one to act with his heart.�

I blushed involuntarily, before I said, �But if I were to return home��

�That is if we can find a way for you to return home,� Gandalf said. At my surprised look, he said, �I merely said that I know why you are here, not that I know a way back.�

He placed some more weed in his pipe, relighting it. He reclined more, and said, �I feel that I should explain everything.�

�That would be appreciated,� I said wryly.

�I should begin with how I acquired my knowledge. As you know, I passed through death to become Gandalf the White. And in doing so, I passed through the Undying Lands. And once there�let us use an analogy. It was as though I were a train from your world. I stopped at a station, and more passengers climbed aboard. Only for me, it was knowledge. And yes, I know of your world now. Do not look at me with such surprise. As I was saying, I acquired new knowledge. Among this knowledge, I received information in regards to the odd appearances due to yourself and your siblings. But to instantly tell you of this would be rushing ahead. I should begin at the beginning, seeing as that is where all beginnings begin.�

I shook my head. �What a mindfuck,� I muttered.

�Many years ago, Prince Legolas Greenleaf of Mirkwood was set to marry the Lady D�nramiel, the Halda�Ithil of Rivendell. This seemed like a well-bred match, for they were both of good status and nature. However, they seemed to severely dislike each other. They had a year to become properly acquainted before the wedding, and most of it was spent bickering or they were purposely ignoring each other. But after a while, they became good friends, through some revelations of kinship. From there, they grew to love each other. They seemed like the most blatant of opposites, but that made them all the more special. Familiarity breeds contempt, I believe. They were similar in many ways, yes, but they were also different, if you understand my meaning.�

I nodded. Yes, I understood that very well.

�They married without argument. The fact that they were soul mates had become obvious to them, and they were soon taking great pleasure from one another�s company.� He paused, and heaved a great sigh. �Legolas only had three proper weeks with his wife. The Elves had noticed the shadow on the horizons, and had been preparing for it. But it was stronger than anticipated. Sauron set his clutches on Mirkwood, slaughtering many. His darkness tainted Men and Elves alike � the Dwarves were harder to reach, in their halls of stone.� Gandalf leaned forward and raised my chin with a finger, staring at my eyes. �And that was how the first Brown Eyes came to existence. Sauron�s darkness tainted many Elves and Men, turning their normally blue eyes dark � before mutating the Elves fully into Orcs.�

I remembered what I had seen in Galadriel�s mirror � the blue eyes flooding with brown. �D�nramiel�s eyes were tainted,� I murmured, raising a finger to the corner of my eye.

Gandalf nodded. �Indeed. As was her mind. It was only little things at first, but the insanity gradually set in. They were to remove her to another world for protection, since she was heir to Lothlorien. However, her insanity acted against the Elves. She managed to get herself fatally wounded just before the transference was to take place. In the limbo between worlds, she passed away. Her body remained in limbo somewhere. Her soul, however, passed to the other world.�

�Me,� I nodded.

Gandalf nodded. �And here is where things grow interesting. You see, you were not pulled into this world by myself, or any other Istari. You might be surprised to learn that it was indeed the shooting star that brought you here.� I rolled my eyes. �But it was not a shooting star, as such.�

I raised an eyebrow, suddenly attentive.

�Carrie, Sauron himself brought you here.�

I paused, my eyes wide. �Sauron? He brought me here?� I shook my head. �But why? And what about Tommy, Jack and Penny?�

�Sauron only meant to bring you here, not your siblings. You see, the reason your siblings came with you is because of your ties with them. Your soul is relatively old, my dear. It has been around for a very long time. And during these times, you have had many issues with your family � no matter who you were in which life. When Sauron used negative energies to pull you here, the negative energies from you were linked with them. Seeing as they were the only ones near you, they were pulled with you as well. So you see, when you cleared the air with them, the negative energies disappeared.�

�That�s all very well,� I said. �But why is Tommy here? I don�t have any negative energy with him � we�re fine together.�

�That is for you to find out, my dear,� Gandalf replied.

�So why did Sauron want me?� I asked, sighing. This all seemed a little farfetched. Sauron wanted me here. He used negative energies, thus picking up on the severe negative energies relating to my family. Damn.

�Now that is the real question,� Gandalf said, puffing on his pipe and blowing smoke rings. �The Elves are actually quite good with prophecies, you see. And a prophecy book was made, to warn of the greatest, darkest and most dangerous prophecies ever to be stumbled across. And among them, there was the Morihin prophecy.�

That sounded familiar. Didn�t Legolas call me morihinamin?

�In this prophecy, it mentions a woman whose soul had once been of Middle Earth. One of great importance. And it was prophesised that she would complete Sauron�s dark plan.�

�And how am I to do that?� I smirked.

�By bearing the Dark Child. Sauron�s child � that which would help bring about Sauron�s victory, and failure for the races of Men, Elves, Dwarves and even the Istar. It would be the apocalypse.�
*
I stared at him. �You have got to be out of your fucking mind,� I said, standing suddenly. �I am not�no! I couldn�t be!�

�Carrie��

�You�d think I�d remember something like that!�

�You didn�t remember your passage here,� Gandalf said sharply, trying to get me to stop pacing. �And I predict that that was when he impregnated you.�

�You�ve got to be wrong,� I said desperately. �I hate kids! Especially the ones with horns.�

He had to be wrong. I felt tears welling up. I wasn�t carrying Sauron�s demon spawn. It wasn�t possible.

�Have you not experienced dizzy spells? Bouts of sickness?� Gandalf persisted.

�Not enough to be considered morning sickness,� I replied harshly. �I mean, come on! My stomach is the same size, I haven�t had an appetite. And not enough time has passed properly, surely? You�re wrong, Gandalf. Sorry to break it to you.�

�Do you honestly think that Sauron wouldn�t take precautions to prevent you from knowing?� Gandalf argued. �He has kept the normal human pregnancy symptoms at bay so that things will go flawlessly. Demon children take very little time to mature in the womb. He did not bargain on my return with the knowledge.�

I was afraid. Gandalf had to have developed a sense of humour. A sick one, but one nonetheless � anything to keep this from being true. But the more that I thought about it, the more it seemed to make sense. �It�s not true,� I murmured. �Not true��

�Come here,� Gandalf said. I gave him a look. �I must check, Carrie. You must understand how grave the situation is if you are indeed carrying.�

I flinched, wiping away a few stray tears, and I stepped forward. I stopped in front of Gandalf, trying not to burst into tears. If I really was carrying this�this little bastard, then that would erase all hope � not just for Middle Earth, but for me�me and Legolas�

What could I do if it was in there? Did they even have such a thing as abortions here in Middle Earth?

Gandalf raised my tunic and rested his hand on my stomach, frowning thoughtfully. I closed my eyes and silently willed my stomach to be completely empty. I bit my lip hard enough to draw blood, as I waited for Dr Gandalf�s diagnosis. Please let it be a lie, a mistake, whatever�don�t let me be carrying it�

Gandalf removed his hand, and I glanced at him. He looked me dead in the eye, and said, �I am sorry.�

I slumped back into my chair, eyes wide. �That can�t�maybe it�s Legolas�s�?�

Gandalf shook his head solemnly. �This babe is already several weeks past.�

I began to cry silently, burying my eyes in the palm of my hand. I�d always said that children were evil, and that to have one in my stomach would be carrying the spawn of Satan. I�d never actually expected it to be literal, though. Oh, the gods of irony must have been laughing their arses off. �W-what can I do?� I asked, wiping my eyes on my sleeve. �I mean, c-can�t we j-just scoop it out of there, or something?�

�An abortion would be fatal, I�m afraid,� Gandalf said. �It could be done, but we are not as advanced as your world. To abort the baby is to risk your life.�

�By what rating?�

�I�d say, by 80%.�

I hung my head, feeling a complete feeling of cold wash over me. I understood that the heroic thing to do would be to give up my life and kill the child. But I didn�t want to die. Not now. �How long do I have?� I asked weakly, head still hung.

�Two weeks. Three at the most.�

I squeezed my eyes shut. That was too little. Too little time � just not enough. I shook my head, and said, �Can I have some time to think about it?�

�Of course,� Gandalf nodded.

I stood, trying to get my legs back to normal. My limbs felt as though they were made of jelly. My head was beginning to hurt, with a dull throbbing behind it.

�Gandalf?�

�Hmm?� I gave him a weary glance.

�I�m not sure if I can tell anyone just yet. And�I�m begging you not to either. Especially not�especially not Legolas.�

�Carrie, I��

�Please,� I said, my voice suddenly more calm. �I know that I have made a lot of naff decisions. But I�d like to be the one to say this and�if I choose an abortion�I need to be the one to�� I winced, holding back tears.

�I understand,� Gandalf said. �I shall agree to your request, but only if you agree to eventually tell at least Legolas of your decision. He loves you very much.�

I wiped at my eyes blindly. �And I love him. More than I could have imagined.� I sniffled. �I just�I need to help out here for a bit first. And I still have to figure out what to do about Tommy.�

Gandalf nodded. �Indeed.� He rose. �Well, we should return to Th�oden-King. Perhaps he has finally made his decision.�

*
The king, as predicted, chose Helm�s Deep.

�Helm's Deep!� Gimli cried, as what was left of the Fellowship wound through the streets towards the stables. �They flee to the mountains when they should stand and fight. Who will defend them if not their king?�

�He is only doing what he thinks is best for his people,� Boromir reasoned. �Helm's Deep has saved them in the past.�

I remained silent. I was still processing this new information, and I was still feeling very, very unhappy. Who would feel happy, learning they were carrying Sauron�s little baby? For a moment, I�d actually wondered on how he got the thing in there in the first place, but then, I realised that it couldn�t have been in the most obvious way, because I�d still been a virgin when I was with Legolas.

�There is no way out of that of ravine. Th�oden is walking into a trap. He thinks he is leading them to safety but what he'll get is a massacre,� Gandalf said. �Th�oden has a strong will but I fear for him. I fear for the survival of Rohan. He will need you before the end, Aragorn. The people of Rohan will need you. The defences have to hold.�

By now, we were in the stables, and I was gently stroking Carl�t�s neck as I listened in.

�They will hold,� Aragorn reassured Gandalf.

�The Grey Pilgrim. That's what they used to call me. Three hundred lives of men have I walked this earth and now, I have no time.� Gandalf mounted Shadowfax swiftly. �With luck my search will not be in vain. Look to my coming at first light of the fifth day. At dawn, look to the East.�

�Go,� Aragorn nodded, as he and Boromir patted Shadowfax�s rump. Gandalf set out of the stable, casting me a quick smile as he passed. I watched him leave, and I felt that familiar coldness taking a hold of me. He had been the bearer of ill news for me. Questions had been answered, but more had arisen. And the questions had been answered in what was probably the most unsatisfactory way. I had learned that I was carrying the�the satanic child of the master of the One Ring!

�Are you well, melamin?� Legolas asked, appearing next to me, holding a saddle.

I turned and burrowed into him for a hug, tempted to just fall asleep and never awake again. He rested the saddle on one of the pen doors, and wrapped his arms around me.

�Just feeling a bit sick,� I replied, not really lying.

He felt my forehead. �You are not feverish.�

�Wanna bet,� I chuckled.

He�d become amazingly good at picking up on my perversity. He chuckled, and said, �Ah, but of course. You are truly your brother�s sister.�

I raised an eyebrow against his chest. �Of course I am. Otherwise, there�d be no point in calling me his sister.�

�How very droll of you, morihinamin.�

I stiffened slightly. �What does that mean.�

�My dark child.�

I wanted to flinch. I also wanted to kick and scream. But it seemed that the other half of my brain had managed to stop lying dormant and come back into action. I kept control of myself and said, �I need a nickname for you, since you have so many for me.�

�Something in Spanish, perhaps?� He said, smiling.

I grinned. He was making me feel better, I had to admit. If I hadn�t been so aware of the fact that Gimli, Tommy, Aragorn and Boromir were nearby, I probably would�ve lead him into one of the pens. But even I have some dignity. �Something in Spanish, �ey? Hmmm�mi amor.�

�Which means�?�

�I don�t think I should tell you,� I replied. �After all, you kept me waiting for so long��

�Please?�

I couldn�t believe it. The git was actually pouting. �N-no,� I said, trying not to laugh.

�You are losing your resolve,� he said cockily.

�No, I�m not.�

He slowly sank to his knees, glancing up with the best puppy-dog impression I�d ever seen. I heard laughter coming from the back of the stables. �Get up!� I hissed.

�Not until you tell me��

�I�ll tell you, just get up!� I laughed. He rose at last, and I said, �It�s the Spanish version of melamin.�

He grinned, looking like the cat that got the canary � it seemed like such an odd expression for an Elf that I started laughing all over again.

�You do not look as sick as you were, lirimaer,� he said, planting a quick kiss on my forehead. �My work here is done.�

�Says you,� I snickered, then blinked at my own brazenness.

He merely cast me a smile, as he moved on with his saddle to find Arod. I smiled to myself. No matter how bad my situation was, he had made me feel better. I just wondered how long it would last.
*
�You seem to be quite comfortable with Legolas,� Tommy commented, as we ate our food together.

�He�s exactly what I�ve been looking for all these years,� I said, putting on a gushy teenager fa�ade. �Pointed ears, a talent with a bow and arrow � what more can a girl ask for?�

�He�s a great guy as well, from what I can see,� Tommy nodded. �Only I think you may have tainted him with your sex-crazed-monkey persona.�

�Oh, you�re a fine one to talk,� I snorted.

�Believe it or not, I haven�t actually flirted with Legolas,� Tommy replied, pulling a face.

�Don�t worry, mate. I�ll put in a good word for you,� I laughed.

�So, we�re heading to Helm�s Deep,� Tommy said, swinging his blade about.

�Yup,� I replied, nodding. �Slaughterhouse deluxe.�

�Stupidity extraordinaire,� he added, throwing his sword into the air and catching it expertly. He always amazed me with stuff like that � he could know nothing about a sword but within twenty-four hours would be able to do all the spinning exercises and everything.

�Well, I�m not sure about that,� I said, shrugging. �Things will turn out fine. Many will die, certainly. But remember � the battle at Helm�s Deep is a victory for men. And Elves, actually.�

�Here�s to surviving,� Tommy said, taking a sip from his flask. He handed it to me.

�Yeah,� I said, nodding. �Surviving.� And I took a big mouthful. Maybe the alcohol will kill the little fucker in my womb, I thought darkly.
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Falling In Love is Hard on the Knees