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Falling In Love is Hard on the Knees	By : sarahjean Category: Lord of the Rings Movies > General Views: 3149 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own the Lord of the Rings book series and movie series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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I'm lookin� down

Now that it�s over

Reflecting on all of my mistakes

I thought I found the road to somewhere

Somewhere in His grace

I cried out

Heaven save me

But I'm down to one last breath

And with it let me say

Let me say�

- Creed, One Last Breath

Saruman�s army was approaching. It was like a swarm of vultures on the horizon � only not nearly as docile. This was the stuff of horror movies � and I loved horror movies.

But I wasn�t sure if I loved this.

No, I didn�t love this. Not at all.

We were standing behind a wall, high up from the ground and just watching and waiting, as the black swarm of Uruks approached, with their fire torches scorching the landscape.

I stood between Legolas and Tommy, with my back as straight as I could get it. I was trying not to hyperventilate or swallow my own tongue, and instead, I was focusing on imagining what was happening back home � if Jack was finally back to normal. If Penny had booted Rob out on his stupid ancient arse.

I sighed, frowning at the approaching army. It seemed as though there was too much I had to do � and it was all overwhelming me. I had to stay alive long enough to figure out how to send Tommy back. I had to think of a way around the fucking Morihin problem.

I glanced sideways at Legolas. How would I tell him about the demon child? How would he react?

He caught my glance and smiled.

�Lle tyava quel?� He asked.

�Not really,� I replied truthfully, swallowing. �I�m feeling kinda inferior right now.�

�I will aid you as best I can,� Legolas reassured. I smiled at his promise, but at the same time, I knew in my heart that he couldn�t be everywhere at once � fighting alongside Aragorn and Gimli and protecting me. But I bit my lip and let him reassure himself.

Aragorn approached where we stood, and looked out seriously at the army, Boromir not far behind. Boromir had been shadowing the Ranger so much I was beginning to wonder if they really had a purely platonic relationship, but then I remembered Aragorn�s little Elven woman at Rivendell. If she hadn�t gone to Valinor, of course.

�Well lad, whatever luck you live by, let�s hope it lasts the night,� Gimli said. Lightning flashed, as if it were a really creepy omen.

�Your friends are with you, Aragorn,� Legolas nodded.

�Let�s hope they last the night,� Gimli added wryly. I smirked.

As Aragorn and his shadow moved along a bit, I glanced around for Tommy.

�I don�t think I was cut out to be a warrior,� I whispered.

�Why�s that?� He asked, grinning.

�Well, you don�t see Xena tripping over her own feet, do you?� I snorted, before proving my point. I was actually stepping backwards and forwards to keep myself warm and preoccupied � but all I was doing was knocking myself over. Luckily, Legolas managed to catch me, laughing heartily as my helmet tipped forward, obscuring my view. I stood up straight and sorted it out, blushing furiously. �Er, thanks.�

I noticed the odd look Haldir was giving me and I glared at him pointedly. A slight frown broke out onto his face, before a small smile overtook his features. �Yes, I see,� he nodded. �Nothing has changed at all.�

I shook my head. Another D�nramiel worshipper. I glanced up at Legolas and noted that he�d clenched his jaw, as he looked down at the army. What was bothering him? Well, I wasn�t going to ask � just in case I risked some kind of humiliating outbreak between him and the L�rien Elf. �You�d be surprised,� I replied to Haldir, receiving a sharp glance from him and a small smile from Legolas.

�Did I miss something?� Tommy asked, attempting to scratch the back of his head but scratching the back of his helmet instead.

�I�m a reincarnation,� I replied with a shrug.

�Oh,� he nodded, then frowned.

A flash of lightning lit the sky, and thunder decided to ring out, bringing with it a heavy rainfall.

�Typical,� I muttered. �Of all the times for it to rain. Couldn�t do it on the path from Rivendell, no. Has to do it when I can�t appreciate it.�

�It�s all very ominous, isn�t it?� Tommy said, tilting his head. �Like one of those war movies.�

�I never much went for war movies,� I said. �I preferred the ones that had ghosts and mutants and monsters better. Or, hey, Children of the Corn!�

He laughed. �Yeah, if I remember rightly, you wanted to take lessons from Malachai.�

�He was so bloody cool when it came to it,� I grinned.

�He was a murderer,� Tommy said.

�That too,� I chuckled. �He was also very, very evil.�

�And you always support evil.�

�Only in the movies.�

�And the computer games. In Diablo II you were actually hoping you�d lose, if I remember rightly, so that Diablo could win.�

�Diablo was awesome,� I nodded. �That demon was very well done.�

�A Eruchin, �-dano i faelas a hyn, an uben tanatha le faelas,� Aragorn said.

I gave Legolas a confused look, and he translated, �Show them no mercy, for you shall receive none.�

The Uruk army were very close now. Close enough that they saw fit to just stop. They stopped and stood, just facing us, doing nothing. The silence drew on � no sound but the rain and the odd clap of thunder. I clenched my jaw as I studied the army.

�This is your last chance, melamin,� Legolas whispered.

�I�m not going,� I said, swallowing. He was giving me one last chance to run for the caves. With a sigh, he nodded, and Haldir gave me an incredulous look before turning his attention back to the army.

The silence from the Uruks, aside from the odd growl, was unnerving. No moving, no noise � R. Kelly really wasn�t kidding in his song when he said that silence was loud.

�What�s happening out there?� Gimli barked impatiently � he was too short to see over the wall.

Legolas smiled. �Shall I describe it to you? Or would you like me to find you a box?�

Gimli laughed heartily. Legolas�s jibe reminded me of my mum � how she was fairly short, and I would always tease her about needing a boost-up to get into bed. It was quite nostalgic.

The Uruks began stamping the ends of their spears onto the ground, eliminating the silence. It seemed to be a cue, for Aragorn drew his sword, and the Elven soldiers began to ready their bows. Some of Th�oden�s archers followed the example.

Boromir drew his sword, and Tommy and I soon followed suit, still staring at the army as they banged their spear-ends on the ground in what seemed to be a mocking way. It was a stand-off of sorts, with men and Elves silently watching with their weapons readied as the Uruks thumped away on the ground. In that moment, I felt the truth of the fact that I was the only woman present hit me square in the forehead. I could do what I�d done all my life and kid myself that I was just a very confused bloke or something, but I doubted that would work. I bit my lip, forcing my mind to stop roaring with sickening scenarios and possibilities.

�Lye nuquernuva sen e dagor,� Legolas said.

�I have no idea what you just said,� I nodded. �But I�ll take your word for it.�

Suddenly, one of the men accidentally let loose an arrow. It embedded itself quite remarkably into one of the few weak spots the Uruks had � the piece of neck exposed just above the breastplates. The thumping instantly stopped, as Uruks and men alike stared in horror at the beast with the arrow protruding from its neck. It might have been comical if the seriousness of the fact had not been so potent.

�Dartho!� Aragorn cried.

The Uruk that had been shot fell forward, dead as a dodo. The Uruks stared in what seemed to be astonishment, before roaring and charging forward.

�And so it begins,� Tommy muttered, swinging his sword expertly.

Aragorn barked out random orders in Elvish. �Tangado a chadad!�

I can�t understand you! I thought angrily. For fucks sake, man, try English!

�Faeg i-vary�d�n na lanc a nu ranc!� Legolas said. �Their armour is weak at the neck and under the arms,� he translated to me. I nodded, pleased that someone seemed to remember that I was a mere mortal.

�Leithio i philinn!�

This was obviously some kind of signal, for the Elves let their arrows fly, some hitting their targets expertly (though I couldn�t see very well because the wind was blowing rain into my eyes).

�Anybody hit anything?� Gimli asked.

�Give them a volley!� I heard Th�oden order.

�Fire!� A voice cried out.

�Ribed�had!� Aragorn yelled.

�Send them to me!� Gimli cried eagerly. �Come on!�

I watched in horror as arrows flew in all directions, and Elves and Orcs fell. I felt as though I were a baby, placed in front of a two-thousand piece puzzle. I was watching lives disappear before my very eyes � lives of beautiful, ageless beings, and lives of the feral, distorted demons of darkness, as they waged a war which suddenly seemed very bleak.

But I had to hold on to the fact that things would eventually be okay.

�Pendraith!� Aragorn yelled.

Confused, I glanced up, and saw ladders raising up the sides, bearing Uruks on them ready to meet the men on our level, more Uruks climbing rapidly. I clutched my sword tighter, staring wide-eyed at the scene before me. Braveheart had nothing on this (though that may have been because neither the Scots nor the English looked like slimy mutants badly in need of a trip to the dentist).

Before I knew it, I was flung into the battle. I ducked as a sword zinged close to my head, and swung my own blade up to meet it as it came back. We lashed blades together, me and this Uruk, pushing each other back before the other would begin a vigorous attack forward. Eventually, I got bored of this, and feinted a swing to the left. The Uruk went to follow, and I swung my sword up in the other direction, taking off its arm. As it screamed, I took the opportunity to raise my foot to its stomach and push. It fell over the battlement wall into the crowds below.

I glanced over the wall, breathing heavily, when something hard hit the side of my head. I hit the ground, seeing stars, and tried to gather my wits, when I felt the attacker stand over me. It was a Uruk of course, its eyes glowing yellow, almost as yellow as its teeth (or were its teeth brown? Hmmm). I realised, panicked, that my sword wasn�t in my hand. I spotted it near the wall, and glanced up at the Uruk. It raised its blade high, and just as it brought it down, I rolled out of the way, silently thanking Reiss for the practice in dodging (he loved to jump on me). I grabbed my sword, and sliced at the Uruk�s leg, but only weakly � meaning I barely caused a gash. The beast roared, before grabbing me by the throat and lifting me up.

�A woman?� It snarled. �These menfolk must be desperate.�

�No, not desperate,� I replied, as cockily as I could as my air supply grew thinner. �They just didn�t have high prospects of the enemy.�

Let me just give some advice. If you are in a fight, be it with orcs or anything else, and your opponent has you by the throat or another vital part of your anatomy � it�s not really a very good idea to insult them. I discovered this when its grip increased tenfold. I couldn�t move my sword enough to swipe at the Uruk. My head was getting fainter, and my neck really hurt � not only were the Uruk�s thick hands clutching my neck, but its long fingernails, very jagged and cruel, were digging into my neck in certain places. It was in no way pleasant.

The Uruk gave a surprised gasp, before falling forward, taking me with it. I cried out as I hit the ground (though I�m proud to say it wasn�t in a high-pitched squeaky girly way, but a low, growling manly way) the Uruk partway on top of me, a dead weight. Dead being the operative word, apparently, as I noticed the arrow sticking out from its mangy hair at the back of its neck.

A hand was extended to me, and I allowed myself to be helped up, only to come face to face with � Haldir. His hair was slightly mussed up from battle, and he had blood stains down his front, but he didn�t look too bad. I was merely surprised it had been him who had helped me � for some foolish reason, my mind hadn�t perceived him the saviour-type.

�Uh, thanks,� I groaned, rubbing at my neck, and pulled my hand away with a frown when I noticed that it was slicked with blood. Haldir quickly led me to a spot where we wouldn�t be found for at least a minute or two, and placed his hand on my neck. I was very surprised, and was ready to kick him to shit, but then I felt warmth flowing from his hand, and the pain receding from my neck.

When he moved back, I rubbed my neck, blinking. �Wow, nifty,� I murmured. �Can all L�rien Elves do that?�

�Nay,� Haldir said. �Few can. The cuts are gone � you may bruise lightly.�

I nodded. �Thanks.� He nodded, handed me my sword, and ran back to the battle. I was just staring after him meekly � not a good idea when war rages around you, I know. I was just confused. In minutes, I�d disposed of one orc, almost been strangled by another, saved and healed by a snobbish Elf�

Lord, give me strength, for I fear for my sanity, I thought, before taking a deep breath and running into the fray. A Uruk with its back to me became run through with my sword. Another soon found its leg missing. I was beginning to feel enlightened, but of course, not all good things last.

I found my cheek yet again the target for a Uruk fist. The same blow also split my lip open. I stumbled, stunned, feeling the blood running down my chin. I spun into a kick, and when the Uruk grabbed my leg, I decided to try out the movies.

It worked well at first � I jumped, swinging my other leg round and getting the Uruk right in its ugly mug. The bad side was that when it dropped me, I didn�t do the nifty landings Jackie Chan and Jean Claude Van Dame did. Instead, I landed on my arse, cursing Sauron for bringing me to Middle Earth, and cursing the movies for making things look so bloody simple.

I quickly ran the Uruk through whilst it was still holding its face in surprise. I then did a backwards roly-poly, and screamed. I found myself sitting between an Orc�s legs, as he stared down at me. But trust me � it wasn�t his face that was the horrible sight. I did another backwards roly-poly, trying to get away, fearing for my poor, fragile mind. At the same time, doing my roly-poly, my feet caught the Uruk�s trousersnake addendums mid-roll, both fucking up my roly-poly and giving the Uruk a new view on pain. I finished my sloppy roll and turned just in time to see the Uruk stumbling about, clutching its crotch and moaning. An arrow hit it, causing it to drop to the ground, and I was pulled up once more � this time, by Legolas.

�Are you well?� He asked, looking almost exhilarated by battle.

�I�m alive, if that�s what you mean,� I replied shakily. �I wouldn�t have been, though. Luckily, Haldir is a good shot as well as a healer.� I rubbed my neck, frowning.

Legolas nodded. �I apologise for my negligence.�

�Don�t worry about it,� I replied, wiping my blade on one of the orcs� fallen bodies. �You have your own problems to worry about.�

He nodded, gave me a quick kiss, and sprinted away. I sighed, still embarrassed from my botched roll and nut-crunch.

I jumped, when I heard Aragorn yelling, �Togo han dad, Legolas! Dago hon! Dago hon!!!�

I worriedly peered over the edge, and watched in horror as Legolas shot two arrows into an approaching Uruk bearing a torch, but failed to kill it. The Uruk jumped into a hole, and bang.

Saruman must have discovered something very akin to gunpowder, if not the substance itself � for the wall exploded in a shower rock and stone and dust, killing men and orcs nearby. Helm�s Deep had been breached. And Saruman�s army began to go through the hole in the wall, breaching the fort.

�Brace the gates! Hold them! Stand fast!� Th�oden was yelling. I found myself breathing heavily, my fear growing. I had pains in my cheek, some twinges in my neck, aches in my arse, and my lip was sill bleeding slightly.

I watched as Gimli jumped, landing among the Uruk soldiers.

�Gimli!� Aragorn yelled, then cried, �Hado i philinn! Herio!�

I glanced around, suddenly remembering who else was in the battle. I stared in amazement as my brother fought viciously. His martial arts experience, his natural affinities with weapons, and his good aim from the archery he had taken when he was younger had made him into a decent warrior. He was doing very well � a few cuts and bruises, but he was pretty much fine.

I turned back, just in time to see Legolas using a shield to surf down some stairs, shooting as he went. I shook my head in amazement, before redoubling my fighting efforts, slowly working my way around the walkway as I pushed my opponents back. My arms were growing tired, the muscles clenching up and complaining � I had cramps in my calves, and my injuries were hurting. I was not in a good condition, but I fought on, every now and then stopping to pillage the odd weapon or two from dead Uruk bodies (I found it disrespectful to even consider taking anything from dead Elf or even Men bodies). The extra weapons helped me take out more orcs, and even do double attacks � I could feint with my sword, and stab with a throwing knife.

�Nan Barad! Nan Barad! Haldir! Nan Barad!� I heard Aragorn yelling.

I was surprised to see that Haldir was not far away from me at all. I saw him nod to Aragorn and turn to yell to the others. Not too long after, an Orc sliced his arm. Haldir clutched his arm to himself, looking shocked and disbelieving. Unease settled in my stomach, especially when I saw another Uruk approaching him from behind, bearing an axe.

With a startled gasp, I removed a throwing knife I�d pillaged, pulling it from my boot. I ran forward, shoulder-barging many out of my way. As the Uruk rose its axe, I ran at a pace that surprised even me. I reached it just as it began to bring its axe down, and before I could consider what I was doing, the arm holding the knife moved around its neck, the knife held at its throat. I pressed the knife in, and pulled. I slit its throat neatly.

Haldir turned, stunned, as the Uruk fell, and I was left holding the knife, staring at the blade with bemusement. He looked at me with wide-eyes � a look that seemed odd on the arrogant Elf�s face.

Another Elf ran over, looking at Haldir worriedly. I gave them both a quick smile, before turning away and running back through the crowds, ducking punches and leaping over dead bodies. I had to find my brother.

And find him I did.

He was fighting valiantly, killing like he had done so many times before. I watched him, entranced, my eyes wide. And I watched as he brought down the last Uruk � not noticing another one preparing to drive a spear through him.

Not Tommy.

I felt my mouth open in a silent scream, as I realised the implications. For the second time, I lurched forward, running at top speed. I could not let my brother die, I couldn�t. Not like this.

All my fault, I thought, as I charged forward. He wouldn�t be here if it weren�t for me. All my fault.

�Tommy!� I yelled.

He turned around, stunned, his blue-grey eyes peeking out from his helmet. His eyes widened in horror, as he realised that the spear was thrusting forward, towards his gut. I could see the look on his face � a mix of horror, surprise, and resignation. He thought he was going to die.

Thought.

Yes, thought. He wasn�t going to die. I knew he wasn�t. For I was now standing in front of him, facing him, and pushing him back. The orc�s spear found a new target.

This was nothing compared to what I had done with Boromir. I felt so much pain that it took over my entire being momentarily, and I was just paralysed. I could feel myself going into shock, as jolts shot through my body. And a billion thoughts rushed through my mind. Of Legolas, as he would grasp my chin with his fingers and just stare into my eyes, as though they were the most interesting things in the world. Of my family, as we all sat together for a photo, laughing. Or friends, lost and found.

I had read the tarot reading wrong. For once, Death literally meant just that.

As I realised this, an odd calm settled over me. I didn�t cry out or sob as I sank to my knees on the battlefield, my heart echoing in my head. I gulped, staring down at the spear that was protruding from my stomach. I never was good with biology, but it was obvious that this was pretty bad. The pain was immense, as it swamped my senses.

I glanced up to see Tommy sink down in front of me, his eyes wide and shining�tears?

He doesn�t cry much, I thought distantly. Why is he crying?

And I realised then that I was crying too. The tears had been slipping down my cheeks without me noticing, and landing on the ground that was stained with the blood of good and evil. I stared at him through blurred eyes, seeing his face�the face that had protected me in dreams and even in the waking world.

My heart was swelling and shrinking alternately, as the irony of my life hit me � for once, it was emotional pain erasing the physical pain, not the other way around.

I was fading away. I didn�t have to be an A-grade student to know that. I was kneeling, close to death�s door, in front of my brother. I didn�t know how long I had left, but I had a peculiar feeling of elevation, then sinking. I realised that it was Sauron, bitterly trying to save the Morihin.

I gazed into Tommy�s blue-grey eyes, and my own words echoed in my head.

�But why is Tommy here? I don�t have any negative energy with him � we�re fine together.�

�Carrie,� he said, his voice strained, as he stared in horror at the spear.

I knew why he was here. I should have known it before, because I�d tormented myself with the very fact once when I was in our world. I couldn�t believe I had been so blind as to not see it before.

�Hey you,� I whispered, struggling to get my voice past my lips. I forced a smile to him, realising that more tears were welling in my eyes, hot and unbidden. They blurred my vision and weakened my smile, but I tried to keep it in place all the same.

�Carrie, don�t�� He whispered, his voice tight and scared. Some of the tears slipped past my eyelids, as I swallowed. He looked so small and meek then � such a contrast to his normal self. He had always been the brave brother I looked up to. To see him in pain, with such feebleness�it hurt me more than the spear did.

Don�t you understand? I thought, studying his horrified features. Don�t you see any of this? I clenched my jaw, trying not to sob, as I cradled my body with my arms, kneeling forward slightly, my head still raised to look into Tommy�s eyes.

�B-but why?� He asked, his voice thick. �Why did you do that?�

Emotion rose in my throat like bile, making me choke on my first attempt at words. My heart was contracting painfully, my face twisted into the best smile I could muster.

I reached a grazed, blood and dirt covered hand to his stubbly cheek, wishing I could have had more time to tell him. Wishing I could have explained everything I�d ever done to him so that he at least could understand. I wished I could have turned back time so that I could stop his aches, and breathe fresh life into him � no less than he deserved.

I was still crying silently, my tears running down my face in hot, painful streaks as the salt made small scratches scream in protest. I was growing fainter by the moment, and I had to tell him. I had to.

�Y-you truly don�t understand?� I rasped. He shook his head, tears gathering against his bottom lid, as he reached up to my hand and grasped it with his own, squeezing it tightly.

�I d-don�t think you realise everyth�everything that you�ve done f-for me in the past,� I said, sniffling. �Y-you can�t know to the e-extent of which you�ve given me reason to go on. You�ve been m-my shining star, Tommy. M-my torch in the tunnel. I w-wish I could�ve had the courage to t-tell you this to your face before. I really do.�

He was crying properly now, and the sight of it pained me so, so much. I gave off a strangled sob, and continued, �And I wish � I wish things could have been different. I would have loved to have had the time to g-go fishing with you, or have you sh-show me how to swim. Every moment with you has been precious,� my lower lip trembled, and more tears fell. �You�ve s-saved me in so many ways, and you d-didn�t even know.�

I licked a tear off my upper lip, and leaned forward slightly, squeezing his hand. �D-don�t you see?� I leaned forward slowly, and placed a kiss on his tear-streaked cheek, trying not to sob all over him. As I pulled back, I looked into his teary eyes.

�You understand me where others don�t,� Tommy said, his voice tear-clogged. �You can�t leave.�

I gave a desolate laugh. �I don�t think I have a choice, love.� I gazed at him, and said, �Yo lo amo. Amin mela lle.� Then, �I love you, Tommy. I sh-should have told you so many times, but I was too � I don�t know. S-self-conscious, maybe. You�re one of the g-greatest brothers anyone could ever hope for.�

I�d realised why he was here. He needed to know my love for him, just as I needed to know his for me. I�d always been too afraid to say it.

He�d needed to know just how precious he was to me.

�I love you Carrie,� he said, tears spilling at random from his eyes. �I - I�m sorry...�

�D-don�t be,� I replied weakly, trying to stop the torrent of tears from my own eyes, but failing. I looked him dead in the eye, and said, �You saved my life. And now I�m giving it away to save yours.�

As he gave a strangled sob, and kissed me on my cheek, he slowly faded out of vision � leaving to go back to where we all originally came from.

I stared at the spot where he had been. And I smiled. I�d finally told him what I�d been worrying over for so many years. Maybe now, he could finally feel his worth, and realise how important he really was to me.

Never forget me, I thought, closing my eyes tight, squeezing out more tears in the process. I won�t die if you never forget me.

�Carrie!�

Aragorn knelt beside me. I glanced at him with a weak smile, looking into his kind and concerned green eyes. �Tommy�s gone home,� I said, my voice thick. �Y-you don�t have to worry about him anymore.�

He studied the spear, and a look of desperation crossed his face. He reached out slowly for it, but I said, �Don�t.�

Even if there had been a way to save me, which I doubted, I realised that it was important now that I remain. If I went down, I�d take Sauron�s Morihin prophecy with me. And I�d have saved so many people�

I felt the faintness begin to take a stronger hold. The end was nigh. I took a deep breath, forcing the ringing from my head, and glanced up at Aragorn.

�T-tell Legolas�amin mela lle. I won�t ever forget him,� I wanted to cry again, thinking of my love. But I clenched my jaw. I had been lucky � I�d had one last moment with him, whereas many didn�t even have that with their loved ones.

Aragorn nodded sadly, his eyes clouded.

�E-everything will be f-fine,� I choked out.

�Thank you, Carrie,� he said quietly. �Namaarie, mellonamin.�

And it was then that an incredible cold washed over me. I smiled to myself, before allowing the blackness to wash over me, content that I had done everything I could.

I died there, on the battlefield of Helm�s Deep.

But not before these words rang in my head. Ten�oio. Lye nauva alye�na ten�oio.
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Falling In Love is Hard on the Knees