Adult-FanFiction.org : Lord of the Rings

Making Choices	By : elvenjade Category: +Third Age > AU - Alternate Universe Views: 1424 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I own nothing and make no money from these stories. Everything related to LOTR is owned by J.R.R Tolkien

Chapter List
- 2
- 3
Elladan barely left Sirwen's side after learning she was carrying their child. With Faeron's help, they had converted one of the rooms into a nursery, thought Sirwen still refused to let anyone know if she knew whether they were expecting a son or a daughter. She wished it to be a surprise.
“She even refuses to discuss names,” Elladan commented to Faeron as they added the finishing touches to the baby's room. “She insists that we will know the perfect name only after we see him.”
“Or her,” Faeron added, ignoring the look that Elladan gave him.
“It will be a boy,” Elladan replied, rolling his eyes as he heard Faeron laughing.
“We shall see,” Faeron told him. “And she is right, even your father did not have names for either of you until he first saw you both,” he pointed out “He has told you this.”
“Yes he has,” Elladan agreed. “I am not good at being patient and all this waiting...”
Faeron's laughter again echoed around them. Elladan merely rolled his eyes again as he tried to ignore him. He glanced over at his long time friend briefly, hiding his smile as he shook his head in amusement.
“I noticed most of the patrol was present for breakfast,” Elladan said. “I take it Glorfindel and the others arrived during the night?”
“They did,” Faeron nodded. “The report is already written and on your desk. There were no problems or threats. One of the paths on the northern border had been blocked. A large branch had fallen across the path. Glorfindel had them clear the way.”
“If only all patrols were so uneventful,” Elladan commented, mostly to himself. If Faeron had heard him, he did not give a reply.
“There was a messenger who arrived with the patrol,” Faeron replied. “I have not seen him yet, but I was told he had brought news from Gondor, perhaps a reply to your letter to your siblings.”
“Have him leave any letters on my desk,” Elladan told him. “I promised Sirwen we would enjoy lunch by the falls.”
“As you wish,” Faeron nodded. He knew Elladan was also stalling. Though he was sure he wished for news on his twin, he still had yet to fully accept his brother's choice.
Elladan glanced over at Faeron and had started to say something. He changed his mind and merely shook his head. If Faeron had heard anything of Elrohir, his long time friend would have already mentioned it.
“This is almost finished,” Elladan replied, taking a step back to admire their work “I can finish the rest. I am sure Glorfindel would like to spend some time with you.”
Elladan had not meant for his comment to sound as hard as it had, at least it had sounded that way to his own ears. Glorfindel and Faeron had been spending a lot of time together and Elladan was bothered by it, though he could not explain why. Every time he saw them together, he felt tightness in his chest or would become agitated.
“We do have plans for lunch,” Faeron nodded, trying to judge the look Elladan had. Faeron knew more than he was admitting to. However, due to a promise to Glorfindel, he remained silent. It was Glorfindel's place to admit some things to Elladan. All Faeron could do was offer some comfort to an old friend.
“I see,” Elladan replied. “Then go and enjoy lunch.”
“And I hope you enjoy yours as well,” Faeron said, grinning as he added “My Lord.”
Elladan could only laugh as Faeron ducked in time to avoid being hit by the book Elladan had tossed at him. He watched as the elf disappeared from his view and let out a deep breath. He had seen the change in his friend and he was sure it was from his spending time with Glorfindel.
The more he thought about it, the more he felt the two of them made a good match. They both shared many of the same interests and they had always gotten along. In fact, Elladan had seen the way they had sometimes teased each other. In a friendly way, of course. He should be happy to see two of his friends together. So then, why wasn't he?
Pushing those thoughts aside, Elladan left the nursery to join Sirwen. He had promised a lunch by the falls and he intended to keep his promise. It was still early in the pregnancy but already she seemed to be more tired with each passing day. She had assured him that all was fine but he worried anyway. He hoped that perhaps a little fresh air would do her some good.
He had not failed to notice how little she ate and it worried him even more. She seemed relaxed for now and he did not wish to change that. For now, he would keep an eye on her and if she did not eat much then he could perhaps get her to eat more often.
”It feels good to be outside,” she whispered, placing his hand against her stomach as she rested against the blanket, her head turned to enjoy the view of the falls.
“Yes it does,” he agreed, his hand caressing her stomach gently. He rested his head on one hand as he leaned against his arm. He saw her close her eyes slowly and knew she was even more tired than she had been admitting. He let her rest and quietly just watched her as she slept.
Elladan had returned to work later than he had planned. He had let Sirwen rest for as long as she needed to then spent even more time just sitting with her and enjoying the peace around them. Once they had returned, he made his way to his office. He was curious to see if the messenger had brought any news from Gondor, either from Arwen or Elrohir.
The letter in his hand had yet to be opened. There were not many reasons for Legolas to be sending news so soon after his last letter just a few weeks earlier. He thought perhaps Legolas had been told the news of Sirwen's pregnancy and had written to wish her well. No matter how much he tried to convince himself of this, Elladan knew this letter did not bring good news.
It took some time before he finally opened the letter to read it. He heard his door open and thought perhaps it was Sirwen. She always seemed to show up when he was upset. He had not been expecting Glorfindel to suddenly be standing beside his desk.
“Aragorn has passed,” Elladan said quietly, still not wanting to believe the words he had just read.
“I know,” Glorfindel replied. “Legolas wrote to me as well,” he added when Elladan had looked up at him questioningly.
“Arwen's plans are to ride to Lorien,” Elladan said, closing his eyes when he felt Glorfindel's hand against his shoulder. “She goes there to fade.”
“We knew this time would come,” Glorfindel told him, keeping his hand where it was though he gave Elladan's should a light squeeze in support.
“Was that supposed to make it easier?” Elladan asked. He dropped the letter onto the desk as he stood up. “Aragorn was as much my family as you and Erestor,” he said “and now he's gone and my sister wishes to fade. Legolas mentioned that Elrohir was also told and yet no one has seen him since.”
Glorfindel stood in place while he watched Elladan, letting him vent his anger. It was taking every ounce of his willpower not to pull Elladan into his arms and hold him. He took a deep breath when Elladan began to pace then he suddenly stopped the younger elf.
“Meet her there,” he told him. “Talk to her.”
“You mean say goodbye,” Elladan cut in, pulling away. “We both know that is what I would be doing.”
“Just as we both know you will regret it if you do not do this,” Glorfindel added. “There will be no other chance. Go to Lorien.”
Elladan leaned against his desk and glanced down at the letter. He knew Glorfindel was right; he would not get this chance again.
“Sirwen....” Elladan started to say as he shook his head.
“She will understand,” Glorfindel replied. “She will tell you how you need to do this and how she will be here when you return,” he added. “And she will not be alone. Both myself and Faeron will be here for her.”
Elladan looked over at Glorfindel when he had mentioned him and Faeron. He wanted to comment on that but just did not have the energy to have that conversation. Letting out a deep breath, he finally nodded.
“Good,” Glorfindel replied “now go see Sirwen. I'll have everything ready for you by the time you are done.” He turned to leave but looked back over his shoulder. “I would go with you, Elladan, if I did not feel you needed to do this alone.”
“I know,” Elladan replied. The two shared a brief look before Glorfindel left, leaving Elladan to his own thoughts.
Glorfindel had been right; Sirwen insisted that Elladan journey to Lorien. He still did not feel right leaving her in her condition though she had assured him she would be fine. Still, he promised to return quickly. He swore he would be there for the birth of their child.
“Somehow, I knew you would not let me journey alone,” Elladan commented as he entered the stables. His horse stood ready, as did two of Glorfindel's best guards.
“They will see you to the borders of Lorien,” Glorfindel said, “and will wait there for when you are ready to return.”
Elladan gave a grateful nod, more relieved than he was willing to admit. His mind was already on too many things at once. He was sure Glorfindel had known this. As he mounted his horse, the two guards led theirs outside the stable. He glanced down when he felt a light touch against his leg
“Tell her she has been greatly missed in Rivendell,” Glorfindel told him, “and that I still hold my promise.”
Elladan was curious to know what promise had been made but knew it was not his place to ask. He nodded in reply then had placed his hand over Glorfindel's. They shared a look again and only looked away when Elladan's horse became impatient.
“Have a safe journey,” he heard Glorfindel call as he had left the stables. Elladan had not looked back; he was not sure he could have left if he had. There had been something in the way Glorfindel had looked at him, something that Elladan had noticed a few times before.
~ * ~ *
Having traveled to Lorien many times in his life, Elladan felt this journey there had taken longer than usual and still had not been long enough. He knew what he would have to face in Lorien and he was not sure he was ready for that. He had said goodbye to many friends in the past as well as his own parents. Only with them, he knew he would see them again. That was not the case with Arwen. This time, when he said goodbye, it would be for good. This would be the last time he would ever see or speak with her.
Memories of both Arwen and Aragorn came often along the way. The guards that had traveled with him had given up on including him into their conversation. He could almost hear Arwen's laugh as either him or Elrohir had teased her during her younger years. It had been the twins who had first noticed the way that Arwen would watch Aragorn. They had also covered for their younger sister each time she had wished for a moment alone with the ranger.
Knowing that Arwen's time was soon coming to an end, Elladan once again thought about Elrohir. He wondered if his twin would have journeyed to Lorien with Arwen. He was so deep into his own thoughts that he had not even noticed they had reached the borders of Lorien. Only when one of the guards promised to wait for him did he realize where they were.
Without his grandmother's presence, Lorien had felt different. It had an almost lonely feeling. Most of the elves that had not sailed for Valinor had come to live in Rivendell. Others had moved on to Mirkwood. Each step his horse took seemed to echo around them. Looking up, Elladan thought he caught a glimpse of something, though he could not say what.
He knew where to go to find her. It would not be the talan she once lived in when she spent time here, nor would it be the place their grandparents had called home. Arwen's favorite place in Lorien had been their grandmother's gardens. She often spoke of the time she spent there and how peaceful it had always been for her.
“Arwen?” he called to her gently as he made his way to her. The gardens were not how he had remembered them. Through some of the flowers remained, the garden itself was overrun with weeds and vines.
“You came,” Arwen replied, turning slowly to face him, giving him a soft, tired smile.
“You did not think I would?” he asked her. It was hard to see her as she was now. Perhaps anyone who did not know her so well would say she looked the same. To Elladan, she looked older and he could tell she was tired. Aragorn's final days could not been easy for her.
“I am glad you did,” was the only reply she gave. She let out a deep breath when Elladan stood before her, closing her eyes when she was pulled into a tight embrace. “I do not have much time left.”
“Arwen...” Elladan shook his head, not wanting to have to think of losing his sister.
“No, Elladan,” she sighed softly. “I made my choice years ago and I have no regrets. I loved him and we had a good life together. It was worth it.”
Elladan grinned as he held her tighter. Even now, she seemed to know what he had been thinking and had been about to ask. She gave him the answer he had hoped for. He closed his eyes as he felt her lay her head against his shoulder.
“Tell them,” she whispered, knowing he would know she meant their parents. “I would not have them thinking I made the wrong choice,” she added. “Promise me you will tell them.”
“I promise,” Elladan nodded. He could feel her shivering against him and he wondered briefly if she was afraid of what was to happen. He shook his head at his own silent question. Even when she was younger, Arwen had been afraid of nothing.
“It feels cold here,” Arwen whispered softly, finally stepped back and looking around slowly. She shivered again as she rubbed her arms.
“Here,” Elladan replied, removing his cloak and wrapping it around her. “I will find some wood to start a fire with. It will help to keep you warm.”
“You should let him know you are here,” Arwen said softly. She had heard no reply yet she knew Elrohir had heard her. She had known he had been following her since she had left Gondor. She would have been very surprised if he had not been there. She knew he was hidden within the trees nearby and hoped he would reveal himself. “He needs closure just as you do,” she continued. “Do not wait until it is too late.”
It was only a few minutes later when Elladan returned. He wasted no time in starting a fire for them and brought Arwen closer to the flames, sitting quietly with her. They spent the night awake, sometimes talking of old times, remembering friends and family. Other times they just sat quietly with Arwen's head resting in Elladan's lap.
“He misses you, Elladan,” she whispered. “He will not admit it, yet I can tell. I saw a glimpse of excitement in his eyes each time you sent news. I know you miss him as well.”
“I do,” Elladan admitted, running one hand through his hair.
“Then find a way to work through this,” she whispered as she looked up towards him.
Elladan knew she was fighting to keep her eyes open now and he had to fight the urge to plead with her not to do this. Reaching down, he took her hand into his then lifted it and kissed the back of it.
“Sleep,” he told her quietly as he watched her close her eyes. Leaning down, Elladan placed a light kiss against her forehead and then sat there quietly watching her. He knew the moment she finally stopped shivering that she was gone. Looking down, he saw that she was now at peace.
“Goodbye, Arwen,” he whispered quietly, though he had yet to move her. He still held her hand in his. He was only vaguely aware that he was no longer holding back his tears.
“You need to let her go,” Elrohir said quietly as he stood behind Arwen.
“Not yet,” Elladan replied. He did not have the energy to turn around and face his twin, though he desperately wanted to. “I have said goodbye too many times over the last few years. Each time was worse than the time before. I can barely breathe now, how do you expect me to handle losing you?”
“It is why I left,” Elrohir told him. “It is why I will not return to Imladris.” Elrohir had taken a step closer and placed a hand on his twin's shoulder. “She told me where she wished to be buried. It is ready for her. I have said my goodbye to her before we came. Say yours now, then go home.”
Elladan was still looking down at Arwen and did not reply. When he did finally turn his head, Elrohir was gone. He closed his eyes and had to take a few deep breaths. It had not helped to stop his tears as they continued to fall.
He had never felt as alone as he did at that very moment.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
Elladan said very little on the journey home. The guards he traveled with gave him his space and for that he was grateful; he had nothing to say at the moment. His thoughts were once again filled memories of Arwen, as well as Elrohir. He did not wish to think of how his twin was aging, but the thought was constantly running through his mind.
Once they had passed the borders and were safely within the realm of Imladris, Elladan dismissed his escort and continued towards home on his own. The closer he was the faster he urged his horse. They were racing down the path by the time he had the stables within his view.
“One would say you had been in a hurry to arrive home,” Glorfindel commented as he arrived to greet Elladan.
Elladan said nothing as he slowly dismounted his horse. He quietly tended to his horse himself then led the animal to its stall and made sure it had plenty of food and water. He knew Glorfindel was watching his every move but was too tired to really care.
“Have a stall set up for Celeborn's horse,” Elladan commented finally, having stopped one of the young elves who worked in the stables. He waited until the young elf had rushed off presumably to do as he had just been told. “He left Lorien when I did,” he told Glorfindel. “He was following closely the entire way.”
Glorfindel was not surprised to hear what Elladan told him of Celeborn, though he had thought that Celeborn would not have stayed in Lorien this long after Galadriel had left. Just as he was about to say something to Elladan, Faeron came rushing into the stables.
“I would say you arrived home just in time,” Faeron said, glancing briefly at Glorfindel before he turned his attention back to Elladan. “Sirwen is showing signs of labor,” he added.
Elladan greeted Faeron and had been about to rush off to the healing wing when he stopped and looked back at Glorfindel.
“Go,” Glorfindel chuckled lightly. “I will stay to greet Celeborn,” he assured the younger elf then let out a deep breath as he watched Elladan rush off.
“He will need you now more than ever,” Faeron told Glorfindel quietly. “Though he will be as stubborn as always.”
Glorfindel nodded silently then turned his head to look towards the one elf that had been more than just a friend in the last few years. He reached over and, out of habit, tucked some of Faeron's hair back behind his ear. Both elves both turned to greet Celeborn as he made his presence known.

Elladan made his way to the healing rooms, pushing the doors open slowly as he stepped inside. Making his way to where Sirwen was, he gently sat on the edge of the bed.
“I was not sure you would make it back in time,” Sirwen said quietly when Elladan took her hand into his.
“There is nothing that would have kept me from being here,” Elladan assured her. He took her hand in his and with his other he reached up and brushed the hair back out of her eyes. He could see how tired she looked and it concerned him.
Elladan watched silently as one of the assistant healers came over to give Sirwen a small cup of tea. He knew the healer would have put some herbs in the drink to help her stay relaxed. He did not fail to notice how her hand shook as she held the small cup. As she rested back on the bed, Elladan lifted her hand and kissed it softly. He saw her close her eyes slowly and sat quietly, letting her find what rest she could at the moment.
Once he saw that Sirwen was relaxing, Elladan had a chair brought over for him and he sat quietly beside the bed. He kept his hand in hers, even as she rested. He could hear voices from out in the hall. Glorfindel was there, of that he was sure and Celeborn as well, if he were to take a guess. For now, though they could wait. He would not leave Sirwen's side, and the others would give them privacy and would either wait out in the hall or wait until they were called in.
He was grateful to have the healing rooms as quiet as they were. It meant Sirwen would hopefully stay relaxed. He knew the memory of Arwen's last moments wanted to surface as he sat. He managed to push the memories to the back of his mind, though he knew he would have to deal with them soon. For now, it was too much to even think about.
Elladan closed his eyes just briefly, or so he thought. When he opened them again, Sirwen was sitting up and the assistant healer was reminding her to take deep breaths. He sat up in the chair he was in and caught the grin the healer gave him, which made him wonder how long he had been asleep. The headache he was now feeling gave him some idea that he had been out for a while and had most likely been in a deep sleep. It was the only time he ever had a headache as soon as he woke up.
It did not take much longer and within a short time, Elladan was once again in the chair, holding his newly born daughter. Once the baby was cradled safely in his arms and sleeping peacefully, he glanced towards the bed and grinned as he saw Sirwen watching.
“There will never be a sight better than seeing you holding her,” Sirwen told him quietly. She watched as he moved from the chair slowly, keeping their daughter tucked protectively against him.
Elladan eased himself next to Sirwen on the bed, leaning closer to let her get a better look. After the baby had been born, Sirwen had been exhausted and fell asleep almost instantly. Elladan had been holding his daughter ever since.
“She'll have my hair,” Sirwen said, seeing the tiny blonde curls that had been hidden by the blanket she was wrapped in. “And your eyes.”
Elladan chuckled as he leaned over and kissed the top of Sirwen's head softly. She still appeared tired, but after all she had been though, Elladan felt it was to be expected.
“I can only hope, it is not my temper she will have,” Elladan said, earning a grin from Sirwen. “We may be in trouble if she does.”
“I am sure you will be able to handle it just fine if she does,” Sirwen replied.
Elladan arched an eyebrow slightly but before he could say anything, the door to the healing rooms opened. Looking over, he saw Faeron peeking around the door towards them.
“I am afraid I must interrupt,” Faeron said, grinning. “I normally would wait, however I have two very persistent elf-lords who are debating on who will come in first.”
Elladan gave a laugh then turned his head to look at Sirwen. She smiled in return and told him to bring their daughter to meet the others while she took a few more minutes to rest. Elladan promised he would not be long then carefully moved from the bed and carried his daughter towards the door. He looked over his shoulder in time to see Sirwen lean back and close her eyes.
“Well it is about time,” Glorfindel commented when Elladan stepped into the hall. He moved to take a step forward when he was suddenly pulled out of the way. The growl that echoed through the hall only made the others chuckle.
“It is my right to get first look,” Celeborn said as he moved beside Elladan to see.
Faeron stood back, amused at seeing the three elf lords and trained warriors making a fuss over Elladan's daughter. It was sight, he felt, everyone should have a chance to see.
“How is Sirwen?” Glorfindel asked Elladan.
“She is tired,” Elladan replied. “Though I am sure she will be for a day or two.”
Glorfindel nodded in agreement as he looked down at the tiny elfling still cradled safely in her father's arms. He could see the resemblance to Sirwen; however he saw a lot of Elladan in her as well.
Elladan looked up at the same moment Glorfindel had, their eyes locking almost instantly. Elladan thought that he saw a flash of something in the older elf's eyes but before he could think what it was, the look was gone. Glorfindel's attention was the baby once more.
“What are we to call this one?” Glorfindel finally thought to ask, grinning as even Celeborn looked up and arched an eyebrow. “Though, little one works for now, she may not agree as she gets older.”
“Sílavir,” Elladan replied, looking at his daughter, smiling as her little head had turned towards the sound of his voice. “It was the name we decided on before my journey to Lorien,” he added quietly.
“Shining jewel,” Glorfindel commented, thinking the name already suited the elfling though she was less than an hour old. Judging by the look in Elladan's eyes as he gazed down at his daughter, Glorfindel knew she would always be Elladan's most precious jewel.
Elladan felt sure that the others would check on him and his family soon, then returned to sit by Sirwen's bed. He spoke with the assistant healer and made sure she knew to add some herbs to Sirwen's next cup of tea. The herbs he mentioned would give her some of the energy she would need.
One of the servants had brought in a baby's cradle and after a while, Elladan settled Silavir into it, keeping her wrapped in her little blanket. He continued to watch her until she drifted off to sleep after just a small amount of fuss. Once the baby was sleeping, Elladan moved into the bed with Sirwen and closed his eyes, draping one arm gently over Sirwen.
He woke up briefly when one of the healers came to check on Sirwen. He checked on Silavir once he had sat up in the bed and was glad to see she was sleeping peacefully. When he looked back towards the healer, he saw the concerned look on her face.
“What have you not told me?” Elladan questioned. He did not like the way the healer seemed to ignore him as she continued to check on Sirwen.
“Sirwen has been tired for days,” the young healer finally replied. “She assumed at first it was only because near the end of the pregnancy. She came to the healing rooms and asked for something to help her sleep.”
Elladan glanced towards Sirwen, reaching over to run his fingers along her jaw. He had just been dreaming about her. In the dream, she had been trying to tell him something. He had been reminded of the dreams he once had of Elrohir. The only difference, Elrohir had always seemed worried in these dreams. Sirwen had seemed peaceful, almost happy.
“She had started to feel tired since the beginning of her pregnancy,” Elladan told her. “She would barely eat unless she knew I was watching.”
Nodding, the healer moved to the side where Elladan was. She took a moment to check Silavir before she turned her attention back to Elladan.
“Labor took a lot out of her,” she told him “It may have been more than her body could handle.”
Elladan, as he sat up more, arched an eyebrow. The healer's comment had him even more concerned than he had been. He thought back to how he'd seen her during the pregnancy. She had always been more than just a little tired. Though she would assure him that she was fine, Elladan should have known better.
“We'll give her the herbs that she needs,” Elladan commented. “Something to give her energy during the day. Then some to help her sleep at night.”
“Then I suggest she stay in the healing rooms until she has regained her strength,” she told him. “She would find more rest here at night and you can care for your daughter in your rooms.”
Elladan had been about to protest until he thought about it. If he had Silavir in their room at night, Sirwen would sleep peacefully. He could easily bring their daughter to see Sirwen each morning. It was not how they had planned things, but for now, it would have to do. He was also concerned that she would feel his stress, should he continue to have these nightmares.
~ * ~
“No!” Elladan shouted as he suddenly sat up in his bed. He could feel his hair clinging to him and reached up, running a hand through the damp strands to push it away from his face. He was breathing deeply and could still feel his heart pounding against his chest.
He glanced around the room briefly then as the memory of his dream came rushing through his mind, Elladan moved quickly to get dressed. He wanted to be sure it had been nothing more than a bad dream. He had just managed to pull his tunic over his head when he heard the knock at his door.
The minute he opened the door and saw the assistant healer with Glorfindel and Celeborn behind her, Elladan knew his dream had been real. Everything from that moment on was a blur. He was only vaguely aware of what the young healer was trying to tell him. He had somehow moved back into his room and was sitting on his sofa.
He looked up slowly as he heard Glorfindel call his name yet he had no idea what else the older elf was saying. He turned his head briefly when he felt the light touch on his shoulder. He slowly looked up to see his grandfather watching him closely. He saw the concern in Celeborn’s eyes as well as Glorfindel's.
“It was supposed to be just a dream,” Elladan finally said after a long while. The healer had left yet Glorfindel and Celeborn had refused to leave him alone, both taking turns to care for Silavir when needed, leaving Elladan to his own thoughts.
“What was?” Glorfindel asked quietly. Elladan was still sitting on the sofa and Glorfindel had pulled a chair closer, sitting almost directly in front of him.
“I saw her in my dream,” Elladan told him “She told me she knew our time together would be short. That she was meant to give me my daughter.” He looked over at his daughter in Celeborn's arms. “She mentioned that there was another who was waiting,” he said, missing the look that Glorfindel shared with Celeborn. “I've woken every night after this dream.”
Elladan got up and took his daughter from his grandfather. He sighed quietly as he held her in his arms, kissing her forehead softly. He had not told them that in his dream, Sirwen had always asked him to promise her that he would raise their daughter for them both. In the beginning, when the dream first started, he had never given her his answer. This time he had given an answer and made the promise she had asked of him.

Not having anything else to say at the moment. Elladan pulled an extra baby blanket from the cradle and had wrapped it around Silavir. He carried her out onto his balcony, leaving the glass doors open behind him. He could feel the night's cool breeze and looked down to see if his daughter was bothered by it.
“Give him a minute,” Celeborn told Glorfindel as he held his arm and pulled him back gently. “Let him take some air.”
When Elladan did finally come back in, it was only Celeborn that remained. The older elf noticed the way Elladan looked around and assumed he was looking for Glorfindel.
“I sent him for some food,” Celeborn explained “and something for Silavir when it is time.”
Elladan merely nodded in reply and made his way back to the sofa, keeping his daughter with him. She was asleep but he had no wish to put her in her bed just yet. Sirwen was gone and their daughter was all he had now. He would keep his promise, this he vowed silently as he watched the tiny elfling sleep peacefully.
It was a while later when Glorfindel finally returned, bringing them all something to eat. The bottle was ready for Silavir for when she was due for her next feeding. It occurred to him why Sirwen always insisted that Elladan feed their daughter. She would always say she was too tired or felt too weak. Elladan now knew she was making the bond stronger between father and daughter.
He sat quietly as he only half listened to Glorfindel and Celeborn's conversation. They were discussing how Elladan had been as an elfling and some of the trouble he would get into, both with and without his twin. He shut out the rest once they had mentioned Elrohir, not wanting to have to think of his twin at the moment, not when he had just lost another person he cared about.
Whether or not he wished to think of the others, the memories came rushing back once more. Seeing his mother after she had been attacked, watching his father break down when she had left them and sailed without them. Arwen's choice to marry Aragorn even the disagreement he had with Elrohir before his twin had left. It had all come rushing back. The memory of watching Arwen fade had been followed by his memory of hearing Elrohir but being unable to face him.
He looked up, not having realized the others in the room were now watching him. He knew he had said something, though he was not sure what. He closed his eyes, wanting the room to stop spinning and he suddenly felt as if he couldn't breathe.
“I have her,” he heard Glorfindel say though he seemed to be speaking from a great distance away. It was all he remembered before everything had suddenly gone dark.
It was Glorfindel he called for when he opened his eyes. Looking around, he could see he had been moved to his bed. It did not take him long to figure out what happened. He remembered having felt overwhelmed as all the memories had come rushing back along with the pain of having lost Sirwen.
“He is there,” Celeborn replied, guiding Elladan's attention to the sofa across the room. “She would throw a fit the minute we tried to put her in her bed,” he added. “He rocked her to sleep then drifted off not too long after.”
“Always the guardian,” Elladan commented as he watched Glorfindel sleeping, Silavir sleeping against his chest with a blanket covering her. Glorfindel had one hand against her back to keep her safely against him; his free hand was resting against his side where he would normally have his sword.
“Would you expect any less from him?” Celeborn asked while looking at Elladan in time to see his grandson shake his head in reply. “Nor would I.”
“I remember when mother sailed,” Elladan commented quietly. “He followed my father everywhere.”
“I remember that well,” Celeborn replied. “It lasted until your father ordered him to stop. His attention then turned to you, Elrohir and Arwen.”
Elladan still watched Glorfindel as the older elf continued to sleep. He had enjoyed those days with Glorfindel and could easily picture them sitting by the lake and listening to any story that Glorfindel had been willing to tell them. When both Elladan and Elrohir would ride out in search of more orcs to kill, Glorfindel had always seen them off and was among the first to greet them upon their return. Thinking about this now, Elladan realized that, even after all the years that had passed, Glorfindel was still the first one to greet him.
“Rest,” Celeborn said, pulling Elladan from his thoughts. “He'll wake you if there is any need to.”
Elladan let out a deep breath after Celeborn had left after promising to return later to check on things. Elladan was not sure how much rest he would find, yet something told him that neither Glorfindel nor Celeborn would let him do much else. He knew if he were made to rest for too long, his mind would once again wander towards things he had no wish to think about.
Turning his head when he had heard his daughter fussing softly, he thought of his promise again and decided that his daughter would be the distraction he needed. Keeping his focus on her might be what he needed to get through this and everything else.
~ * ~
“What are you doing?” Elladan shot Glorfindel a look. The older elf had walked into Elladan's study and dropped into the chair across from Elladan.
“Keeping you company,” Glorfindel replied casually. He reached towards Elladan's desk and picked up one of the files on it. “Healing supplies,” he commented dropping the file back onto the desk. “Looks quite interesting.”
Elladan chuckled as he pushed aside the paperwork he had in front of him and leaned back in his own seat. He tilted his head just a little as he watched Glorfindel
“I see,” Elladan said, grinning. “Celeborn managed to get Silavir's interest and she went with him.”
“Perhaps,” Glorfindel replied, rolling his eyes. “Stop raising your eyebrow, you look too much like your father when you do that.”
“Her first birthday is coming up,” Elladan said. “Now before you say anything, I just do not think I can handle a huge celebration,” he added. “Something small, perhaps.”
Elladan was relieved when Glorfindel nodded in reply and he seemed to understand why Elladan would not want a huge party. Too much had happened around that one day the year before and Elladan feared becoming overwhelmed again. He wanted the day to be about Silavir and not any of the bad memories that still haunted him.
“Faeron will manage everything,” Glorfindel said. “He lives for these kinds of things.”
“I know,” Elladan agreed. “He would have my head if I had anyone else plan the event.”
“He reminds me of Erestor that way,” was the reply Glorfindel gave.
Both elves sat quietly for a short while, enjoying each other’s company. It was something they did often, though mostly at night when Elladan's daughter was asleep.
“Take a walk with me,” Glorfindel said suddenly. “The boring reports can wait,” he added when it looked like Elladan had been about to decline.
Elladan finally agreed and moved away from his desk. He followed Glorfindel to the door then glanced back at his desk. He could not help but laugh when Glorfindel took his arm and pulled him out of his study. He had no choice but to follow him now, though if he were being honest with himself, he would admit that he was glad to be out of his study and with Glorfindel.
“So the rumors were true,” Elladan said as they followed an old path near the lake. He stopped when an old, yet well cared for cabin came into view. “You do have a cabin.”
Glorfindel grinned as he gave Elladan a nod in reply. He urged the younger elf forward then unlocked the door for them. He had come a few days before to air out the place and clean anything that needed cleaning. Of course he had restocked the supplies as well.
“It was here I would spend some time when I needed to be alone,” Glorfindel told him. “Only your father and Erestor would know where I was.”
“In case you were needed,” Elladan added, not needing to even look at Glorfindel to know he had guessed right. When he did finally glance back at Glorfindel, he found the other elf to be watching him closely.
“I would have showed this place to you had you asked,” Glorfindel told him. “I lost count how many times I would sense you and your twin following me,” he grinned. “As you got older it became harder to keep you both from finding me, especially you.”
“Well,” Elladan chuckled lightly, “that would be your own fault. After all, it was you who showed me how to track just about anyone.”
“True,” Glorfindel nodded, “but the ‘anyone’ part was not supposed to include me.”
Elladan closed his eyes briefly before turning around slowly to face Glorfindel. He had not realized until that moment how close Glorfindel had been standing.
“I would have followed you anywhere,” Elladan told him “Just as I would now.”
When Glorfindel did not give a reply Elladan closed what little distance there was between them. He looked down briefly when he had felt Glorfindel's hands resting against his hips.
“She was talking about you wasn't she?” Elladan questioned. “You're the one who has been waiting.”
“She knew more than I thought,” Glorfindel replied, letting out a deep breath. “I assume she saw what I've spent years trying to keep hidden.” he added, “because she felt the same way about you as I did, as I still do.”
“Why did you not say something?” Elladan asked. “There were times when I thought there was something between us,” he added. “At least I would often hope there was.”
“There always was something,” Glorfindel replied. “There were times when it was almost impossible not to tell you how I felt.” He glanced over towards the sofa then guided Elladan over to it. “I kept telling myself that I needed to wait, that it was not yet our time,” he added, grinning when Elladan gave him a questioning look.
“Your father saw more than he ever admitted to,” Glorfindel continued. “He always knew how I felt, in fact, he probably knew even before I did,” he said. “Before he sailed, he told me I would know when it would be right for us.”
Elladan was now sitting beside Glorfindel on the sofa. He sighed quietly and leaned into the older elf, then felt Glorfindel's arm wrapping around his shoulders. He was reminded of how he would often sit this way when he was younger and listen to one of Glorfindel's stories.
“You stepped aside for Sirwen,” Elladan said after having been silent for a short while.
“I saw how happy you had become when you were with her,” Glorfindel said. “It was how I always wanted to see you, even if it meant seeing you with someone else. It was not always easy to watch the two of you, though”
Elladan had said nothing at first as he listened to Glorfindel speak. After a short while, he lifted his head and turned just enough so that he sat facing Glorfindel. He wanted to see the truth in Glorfindel's eyes and was relieved when he had found it.
“I once believed you knew everything,” Elladan said as he reached over and slowly ran his hand through Glorfindel's hair. “And that it would always be impossible to hide anything from you. I always wanted there to be more between us. It was all I had ever hoped for when I was younger.”
Glorfindel started to say something but Elladan shook his head and asked that he be allowed to continue first. He gave him a small smile when Glorfindel nodded in reply.
“I was happy with Sirwen and I do not regret what I had with her, however there was always some part of me that never gave up hoping for you,” Elladan said “Then when you and Faeron...”
Glorfindel was the one who silenced Elladan, only this time he did it by kissing him until they were both breathless.
“Faeron knew how I felt about you,” Glorfindel replied after the kiss. “He saw how tormented I was after having watched you walk off with Sirwen. He became as much of a distraction to me as I was to him,” he said, grinning at the look Elladan gave him “It was a mutual agreement. We both could not have the one we truly wanted.”
“Who is it that he wants?” Elladan heard himself asking.
“That is something you will have to ask him,” Glorfindel told him. “What we did have has been over since...” he paused briefly “well since the day Silavir was born.”
Elladan let out a deep breath as the two elves sat facing each other. He could still remember his dream clearly and Sirwen's words suddenly ran though his mind. He had no doubt that she knew not only how Glorfindel felt about him but also how he felt for Glorfindel.
“Your wait is over, Glorfindel, as is mine.” he said before kissing him deeply.
Elladan suddenly gasped for breath as the kiss ended. He had not noticed that they had moved during the kiss and that Glorfindel was now lying under him on the sofa. He could not seem to look away from Glorfindel as he sat up slowly.
“What are you thinking?” Glorfindel asked. Reaching over he ran one hand through Elladan's hair slowly and grinned as the younger elf leaned into his touch.
“Faeron will keep us busy for the next little while with planning Silavir's celebration,” Elladan replied. “It would be nice to have one entire night just for us,” he added. “Perhaps tonight, we could stay here?”
“We have everything we need here already,” Glorfindel replied, grinning at him “Though I am sure you will want to let Celeborn know that Silavir can stay with him for the night.”
Elladan nodded in reply before leaning closer and kissing Glorfindel deeply, leaving both elves once again breathless by the time the kiss had ended.
“Let's do that now,” Glorfindel told him, “or we risk not leaving here at all.”
Elladan laughed then after sharing a few more deep, passionate kisses, finally moved so that Glorfindel could get up as well. As they were leaving, Elladan stopped briefly to turn and look back at the cabin.
“We'll make this place our soon enough,” Glorfindel whispered into his ear before he kissed the pointed tip, chuckling as Elladan had moaned quietly.
“Tease me all you wish now, Glorfindel,” Elladan said, “but, I will have my revenge later.”
Glorfindel laughed as he slid his arm around Elladan's waist then nuzzled the younger elf’s neck. “I look forward to that,” he said, nipping at Elladan's neck.
Elladan closed his eyes briefly as a small shiver moved through him. He heard Glorfindel chuckle lightly. He lifted his head and kissed the older elf deeply then grinned as he pushed him out the door.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
It was years later, as Elladan, with Glorfindel and their daughter, prepared to leave Arda. He had been quiet as he stood and watched their things being loaded onto the ship. There was no mistaking the voice he had heard behind him.
When he had turned to face his twin, nothing could have prepared him for the sight he had been met with. It was in that very moment he envied his father, Elrond, for not having seen how his twin had aged. This was not the image Elladan wished to remember Elrohir with.
Years of pent up anger and frustration between the twins finally reached its breaking point. Their words had become heated as they both accused the other for having been too stubborn, keeping them separated from each other until they no longer had any time left. Elladan remembered striking his twin one minute then waking up to see Glorfindel standing with Elrohir.
As the memory faded, Elladan found himself standing at the back of the ship staring out over the water. Arda was no longer within his sight yet he was finding it hard to turn away.
“Talk to me,” Glorfindel said as he came up behind Elladan and wrapped his arms around him. He knew seeing his twin again was having an effect on his mate.
Elladan leaned back against Glorfindel and closed his eyes briefly. Many years had passed since their first night together in the cabin. Many things had also happened since that night. More attacks had been made on Imladris and very few elves remained.
“How long had you been ready to sail?” Elladan asked. “When I told you I was ready, you seemed relieved.”
Glorfindel lowered his head and kissed along the back of Elladan's shoulder until he reached his mate's neck, kissing and marking him softly.
“My relief was more for you than myself,” Glorfindel admitted. “I know how things have been affecting you lately, and I know that once we reach Valinor, you will finally be able to relax.”
Elladan turned his head and kissed Glorfindel deeply. Looking back out over the water, he leaned back against his mate and closed his eyes. He wanted to enjoy the moment but the memory of seeing was still fresh and still painful.
“Elrohir looked old,” Elladan finally said. “Not just his appearance, but his eyes as well, he was tired.”
“He was not so tired that he could not make one last journey to see you,” Glorfindel pointed out. “He does not regret his choice, Elladan, even after all these years.”
“I know,” Elladan nodded. “It was hard to see him but I am glad he came,” he added.
“It was something you both needed,” he said. “Neither you nor Elrohir would have found peace had you not spoken one last time.”
Elladan let out a deep breath as he had looked up at Glorfindel. After a while he turned back to look towards the water and towards where he knew Arda to be. It felt strange to be leaving the only place he had ever thought of as his home, leaving behind his twin and knowing that Elrohir did not have too many years left.
“Perhaps if we had waited,” he said quietly as he turned to face Glorfindel. “I could have had more time with him.”
Glorfindel shook his head as he placed his hands on Elladan's shoulders gently in support. He could still see the sadness in his mate's eyes and it was tearing at his own heart.
“I can remember how hard it was on you to watch Arwen as she passed,” Glorfindel gently reminded Elladan. “Watching Elrohir suffer the same fate would have been too much for you,” he said, kissing his mate lovingly. “Silavir would have suffered to see you in such a state, as would have I.”
“He should not have to go through it alone,” Elladan said, wanting to look back again only this time Glorfindel has stopped him.
“He is not alone,” Glorfindel replied. “I saw the ring he wore, Elladan. Elrohir has his own mate. He wanted a chance to say goodbye to you before it was too late. I am sure he did not want you feeling guilty about leaving, he always knew you would.”
Elladan let out a deep breath and allowed Glorfindel to pull him into a tight embrace. He thought back to the last few moments he had shared with his twin and realized that Glorfindel was right. Had Elrohir wanted to him to stay, he would have asked it of him. Instead, it was Elladan who had asked Elrohir to make him one last promise.
“Do not let the elves be forgotten,” Elladan told his twin. “Teach them our history and let them hear our stories.” He watched as Elrohir gave a small nod in reply. “When your time is ending, promise me you will return to Imladris and spend your last days there. Find that one place where we used to spend hours together, hiding from everyone else.”

“I promise,” Elrohir said before he pulled his brother into a tight embrace. It took everything he had to finally let him go. He shared one last look with Glorfindel then walked away...
Elladan almost collapsed against Glorfindel as he remembered the pain he felt, watching Elrohir as he left. His twin had turned to look back only once after having mounted his horse. He felt Glorfindel's arms tighten around him now as he looked back out over the water one last time.

“We have a few days before we reach Valinor,” Glorfindel told him “Our daughter is asleep and it would be best if we tried to rest as well,” he added. “I am expecting there will be plenty of excitement when we first arrive.”
“It will not be us they come to see,” Elladan told him. “I am sure Faeron has told them everything about Silavir.”
Glorfindel chuckled as he nodded in agreement. Faeron had sailed a few years earlier and Celeborn had gone with him. He wondered briefly if their long time friend had found the one he had always longed for. They were sure to find out soon enough.
“No more looking back,” Elladan's words pulled Glorfindel from his thoughts.
“We have much to look forward to,” Glorfindel added, “and an eternity to make new memories.”
Elladan looked up at Glorfindel and, for the first time since saying goodbye to his twin, smiled. He leaned up and kissed him lovingly then rested his head against Glorfindel's shoulder. He thought back over the memories he did have. Some were sad and others would always be painful but through all the hard times, there had been many happy memories.
He glanced back one last time as one thought ran through his mind. Even though he had suffered through many hard times and painful memories. Elladan knew things had happened just the way they were supposed to. He had a few regrets but now, as he stood beside his mate, Elladan knew he would not have it any other way.
The End!
- 2
- 3
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

Making Choices